


Oxytocin: Love and Jealousy

by AnonArtist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Humor, Cheating, Eventual Smut, F/M, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru Friendship, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma is Bad, M/M, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru is a Good Friend, Smut, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26340343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonArtist/pseuds/AnonArtist
Summary: You're just trying to survive college chemistry classes, but you know you need a little extra help to get by. So you ask Kuroo, who is top of the class, to tutor you and he turns you down immediately. Though eventually, the thought of someone else helping you pisses Kuroo off even more... You just wanted a better test grade, but you end up getting more than you signed up for.Turns out you two have chemistry together in more than one way.a femReaderxKuroo fanficInspired by @daphknees on tiktok (thanks for the inspo!!!)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 127





	1. "You'll help me?..."

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know how long I plan to make this, but my main goal is to have you hate me because of the angst. So please enjoy :))))))
> 
> As always, Constructive Criticism is appreciated, but lets not be an asshole about it.  
> And if you have any headcanons or plots you would love to see written- Gimme, Gimme.  
> 

"A hormone is a chemical released by a cell or a gland in one part of the body that sends out messages that affect cells in other parts of the organism. There are three classes of hormones: Pept..."

You began to doze off in class as the professor droned on. Seriously how could anyone stay awake when he talked with such a monotone voice, and about the most boring shit you've ever heard. 

You accidentally let a "ugh" out loud, cursing internally you hoped no one had paid any mind to you. You looked around with fingers crossed that you didn't draw any attention, when you suddenly met lidded hazel eyes. You couldn't look anywhere but into the harsh gaze of the male across the room, trapped in the eye contact you began to blush, and to your relief the teacher called for the end of class so you took the chance to grab your coffee and notes before making your way quickly out the door.

You shook your head, trying to figure out what the hell just happened when your lab partner sauntered up and threw and arm around you. "Hey little cutie, you seem like you're in a hurry. Got a hot date?" 

You rolled your eyes, not in the mood to deal with his shit at all, you curtly respond," No, Oinkawa, only man that annoys me is you. Everyone else has the common sense to stay away."

He recoiled from the new nickname, making you giggle, and quickly recovered,"Oh so I'm the only man in your life, huh?"

You didn't even need to look at him to know the smirk that was plastered across his face, the one you would love nothing more than to slap off his smug face," No, I said you're too stupid to stay away." The smirk didn't even falter, so you gave up and just kept walking to the cafeteria, hoping he would find someone better to terrorize.

Although if you were being honest, you didn't mind Oikawa. His company wasn't completely terrible, he could at least take your teasing and dish it back. Most people found you too brash or honest, which always made you come off mean. Even though you just liked a good tease, you managed to always take a joke too far.

 _"You have to have a thick skin to stick around me,"_ you thought to yourself.

Soon you made it into the giant cafeteria, you hurried into line to get food before the lunch rush hit. You were hoping to get in and out before it got to busy in there, you enjoyed spending your breaks in the studio anyway. Oikawa always begged you to eat lunch with him, but you weren't a big fan of attention and you knew that him and his friends got nothing but attention. That was a side effect of being on the volleyball team, it also helped that they were all absolutely gorgeous. You might be stubborn when it came to people, but you weren't blind. Anyone could tell they were in a league of their own.

After finishing your pizza and shaking yourself from you thoughts, you hurried out the building and made your way to Arts Building. What you weren't aware of was the hazel eyes that followed your every move till you were out the door.

**-Timeskip to late that night-**

"UGHHHHHH CHEMISTRY CAN SUCK MY DICKKKKK" you screamed out in frustration because for the 3rd hour that night you couldn't figure out how to finish the homework.

Giving up on your current predicament, you strolled out of your room to find you cousin slash roommate in the living room.

"KIYOKOOOOOOO HELPPP MEEEEE," you cried out as you haphazardly threw yourself across the couch, nearly spilled the popcorn she had in her lap. 

"What is wrong with you?" she glared at you since you obviously ruined her quiet time.

Most people couldn't believe we were related, we couldn't be more polar opposites. While she was quiet and reversed, you were loud and abrasive. You were always ready to pick a fight, but she avoided conflict like the plague. Most would think that'd make us incompatible but between being family and forced to spend time together, you two were thick as thieves and balanced each other perfectly.

"Chemistry. Either it's going to kill me or I'm going to kill it. And currently it's winning. Please say something nice at my funeral!" You sat up at the end of the couch and dramatically laid yourself over the arm, clutching at your chest and wiping away fake tears.

Kiyoko simply rolled her eyes at you," Stop being dramatic. It can't be that bad." _ouch Ms. Ice Queen_

"I'll have you know that my fine arts brain can handle math and biology all day long, but this chemistry shit? All bets are off. I can't drop the class either, I'd have to take it eventually anyway. UGHHHHHH I don't know what to do..." You picked up a pillow and shoved your face into and screamed," FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK." 

"Jesus (y/n) stop yelling, we do have neighbors. It's not that big of a deal, just get a tutor or something."

"A tutor? You're joking."

"Not at all, what's wrong with a tutor? I had to have one for Trig last semester."

"Well for starters, I don't want some rando judging me for not understanding something. Secondly, I don't have the money to hire one from the school." You rolled your eyes at her obvious ignorance of how stupid getting tutored is. You didn't need someone else's help, you had gotten by alone so far and you'll keep doing it yourself.

**-Timeskip to the next Chem class-**

"A FUCKING 79?!?! Fuck me..." you whispered to yourself as you stared at the right red writing at the top of you latest chemistry failures. If this kept up, there was no way you'd be able to pass the class. "shit shit shit shit shit shit shit..." You continued to chant a string of explitives at the paper like it was the one who failed you.

_"...just get a tutor or something..."_

Dammit Kiyoko, I hate it when you're right. Luckily, I hate failing even more.

You approached your professor after class and asked him about chemistry tutors, to which he explained that there several students who were registered tutors with the school, but he also knew many students would help tutors other on the side, so I was more than welcome to ask anyone if I couldn't afford a college tutor.

"Ok, well can you tell me who's doing really good in the class? If I'm gonna grovel from help from anyone, it might as well be the best."

He seemed to think about this for a second, and then looked around for a sheet of paper and pointed at a name on a test paper with a bright red "100" on it,

**Kuroo Testurou**

Shit. That name sounds way too familiar.

You decided to chalk up to paranoia and thanked the professor before turning to walk away when you ran into a wall.

Well to be more specific, it wasn't a wall but a guy built like a telephone pole and staring down at you with an amused smirk. Your ears flushed and you immediately bean to apologize, but he beat you to it,"I'm sorry I didn't see you down there short stack."

You scoffed and your eyes lit up with irritation, _who the fuck is this guy and where does he get off-_

You're fuming thoughts were cut short by the ugliest laugh you'd ever heard, it was almost infectious though. You were entranced as this looming giant was bent over, cackling at your expense. You decided you need to get the last word in before you would stomp away from this idiot.

"Jesus, I might be short but I'd take that over being tall and having a laugh like." Not your best work, but you were dying to leave his immediate vicinity.

That's when he fixed onto your eyes with his. Hazel. You took an involuntary breath in, almost gasping at the sudden intensity.

"What's wrong short stack? Cat got your tongue?" He leaned towards you with a hungry smirk on his face, almost like he thought of himself as the cat itself. 

As if lady luck finally was looking out for you, the tension was cut by your professor.

"Ah! Kuroo, I'm so glad you're here. I was wondering if you would be available to help me in one of my first year labs..." You zoned out the rest of the conversation because you just realized that your biggest hope for passing this godforsaken class was this insufferable pine tree. _You have got to be fucking kidding me..._

Before even debating about talking to him, your phone rang. You began to walk out the back out the lecture before picking up.

"Heyo"

"Hey it's Kiyoko, I'm gonna be in the cafe for lunch today. Wanna eat together? I think Yachi is going to join us."

"Yea that sounds good, I'll meet you in the usual corner."

You hung up after she agreed, and took off for the cafeteria. But not before catching a pair of hazel eyes out of the corner of your (e/c) eyes as you turned into the hallway from the auditorium. _What a weird guy..._

\-------

"Ok but I'm just saying, if there are aliens out there, there is no way that they would want to come to Earth. We have nothing to really offer besides violence!"

"(y/n), you can not possibly believe that! We have culture and love to share!"

"What alien would care about that. You can spout something about love and they're just gonna eat your brains... I hope you enjoy having fewer brains than you even have now..."

You and Yachi had been going back and forth about Aliens for several minutes now, Kiyoko sat there just trying to hold back laughter as you both were getting more ridiculous and the volume was slowly going up and people around had begun to notice your conversation too.

You three occasionally would have lunch together, and it was always something of chaotic. At first, you had chalked up Yachi as being reserved like Kiyoko but as she warmed up to, you slowly realized she was bat-shit crazy tucked into a cute girl. She always had too much energy and got excited about the smallest things, but you could see why Kiyoko kept here around. She was sweet and would drop anything if you were in need of help.

"Let's just agree to disagree then, Yach, you are clearly delusional and I don't want to ruin a crazy person's fantasy..." she gasped at your words and threw some napkins at you whole faking a pout, all while you chuckled at her dramatic display.

"Hey Yoko, question for ya." You turned towards your cousin, with a new train of thought forged through your head.

She didn't verbalize her attention, but just lifted her head and met your eyes with her raised eyebrows.

"So I took your advice about the tutor- DON'T SMIRK AT ME LIKE THAT- anyway, I asked my teacher for suggestions. And he suggested a guy in my class, but what was weird was the name sounded startling familiar. Kuroo Testurou? I think that's how he pronounced it." You were rambling on about how you couldn't think of where you would know the name from, even though his face didn't ring any bells.

That's when you snapped you attention back to your cousin who was looking at Yachi, both staring at each other like they were communicating through their thoughts.

"Uh, hey. So I can't read minds, but I'd love to be in on the conversation, " You sighed and rolled your eyes, they did this all the time, it was annoying.

Kiyoko tuned back to you after nodding to Yachi, "Oh yeah you definitely know the name, you went to school with him at Nekoma."

"What?? No I definitely would've remembered someone who resembled a tree with a bad haircut." You argued but, you didn't disagree. It's the only thing that makes sense.

"You never paid attention to anyone in school, but anyways he was on the volleyball team. He was the captain his third year."

"Hmmm not ringing any bells. Like i said I remember hearing the name but nothing more. Weird. Anyway, think I should give him a shot at tutoring?"

"Might as well, he's not a bad guy. We interacted a couple times during volleyball. Karasuno and Nekoma were close for rivals. Plus what's the worst that could happen?" 

Taking in her words you shrugged and stood to leave. After saying your goodbyes, you dumped your tray and stared out over the sea of students.

_"Whats the worst that could happen?"_

You could think of several things, but none bad enough to stop you from what you were going to do next.

Scanning the main dining area you hunted for fluffy brown hair, when obnoxious laughter filled the air and caught your attention. _Ah yes, just the attention attention whore I was looking for._

"Oinkawa!" He turned and smiled despite the nickname he hated, but you didn't stop your teasing there, "If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were trying to get everyone in the cafe to look at you." You sent a little smirk at him with this comment because you both knew that's exactly what he was doing. He was a very intelligent person and had his fair share of issues and quirks, but the man did love being the center of attention.

"For your information, little cutie, I was only trying to get your attention. Looks like I succeeded." He, of course, ended this statement with a wink making you cringe even harder.

"God, you're insufferable," making a fake gagging face much to his amusement," but I have a favor to ask you!"

"I don't know (y/n), you're being awfully mean to be asking for favors now." The smirk on his face grew to new "douche" levels you hadn't even thought conceivable on a face that pretty. You rolled your eyes, but you knew he was just giving you a hard time.

"Pleaseeee Tooru! I'm so close to failing Chemistry, you've seen my grades! I just wanted to ask Kuroo to tutor me! I just need you to tell me when the best time to run into him would be." You weren't much of a begger but you knew if you used his first name, he wouldn't be able to resist anything you asked for.

You slowly watched his resolve break, the stoic stare he was giving you eventually replaced by his usual smartass smirk. However, he wasn't bothering to make eye contact with you at all but behind you instead.

You turned to see what had him so smitten, when you ran into a wall for the secodn time today.

That's when you realized, you ran into a telephone pole again...

A deep ragged voice spoke right about your ear, "Chibi-chan, we really should stop meeting like this."

You flushed immediately and backed into the table full of volleyball players behind you, you could feel their eyes on you as they had obviously watched all of this go down.

You heard that throaty laugh again, and looked over to Kuroo, who was clutching his ribs, "Maybe I should call you Strawberry Short Cake with how pink you keep getting."

Pulling yourself together, you shook your head at the male in front of you and took a step forward. He stopped laughing and just stared down at you with a smug grin on his dumb face. _What a dumb looking... Is he really the person to ask for help?... I'm going to kill him_

Your internal monologue was interrupted by a soft clearing of his throat, you looked at him and met his entrancing eyes. He knitted his eyebrows, almost like he was trying to guess why you were still standing here.

"I was hoping to run into you again, I had to ask something-" You were suddenly cut off by the raven hair male as if he thought he could read your mind.

"Aww Chibi-chan, ready to confess your love? I knew I was good at first impressions but I didn't expect you to fall so fast... It's very cute." He finished this comment off with a pat on your head as he turned to sit with his teammates.

At that point you were seething, your whole body was vibrating with anger. You turned on the bedhead, prepared to tear his head off when he suddenly turned back around, "No."

"WH- what? I'M NOT CONFESSING MY LOVE! I just need a chem tutor!" you exclaimed as quietly as you could but your anger was making you lose you cool faster than anticipated.

"I know, I listened to the whole conversation you had with Oikawa. Still no."

You stood their gaping at the tall asshole, considering homicide for how he wouldn't even look at you while saying all of this. At this point, all his teammates had inched away from the lanky male hoping to stay out the blast range when you blew up on him. When suddenly he whipped his head towards you, with the most evil smirk you had ever seen. You could see him scheming between those hazel eyes, and you weren't looking forward to hear what he had to say next.

"Kiss me."

You froze. You felt the red growing from your ears to your face. Not an inch being spared from the sudden blush. "Ex-Excuse me?"

"If you want me to tutor you so bad, kiss me. Make that sacrifice to show your serious." No fucking way are you hearing him right, is he insane?

You couldn't even think of anything sharp to say back, you just stared with your mouth agape.

You stared at each other for what felt like forever, neither one of you moving or reacting.

"That's what I thought, you can have someone else tutor you." You swore it was just your imagination but he sounded almost disappointed.

Being fed up with the situation, you just turned and stormed off, barely hearing Oikawa call after you. He eventually caught up with you and stopped you by grabbing you by your arm.

"Hey I'm sorry about him, he can be difficult like that sometimes. Ever since he got dumped in high school, he gets pretty short with new people. Doesn't want to ruin the balance of his life or some shit." He waved his hand and rolled his eyes as if waving away the bullshit wafting through the air.

"I don't care what girl broke his heart, that was pure disrespect and excessively rude- and that's coming from me..." You were crossing your arms, looking at the ground, still shaking with embarrassment and anger.

Oikawa was silent for a moment, but continued wit," Well Kuroo got his heart really broke by his Ex-BOYfriend... and I think if I were in his shoes, I'd be the same way honestly."

Your head jerked up from the floor," Oh shit, I would have never pegged him for batting other team. I should've just kissed him then." You smacked yourself in the forehead for being so dumb, and screwing your chances up with Kuroo being you tutor, You could apologize, but your pride was too big to do that. You'd rather take this embarrassment and anger to the grave before apologizing or begging for help again.

"I know I'm not Kuroo, but I did do better on the two tests than you did, I would be willing to help you where I could in Chem..." Oikawa said shyly, glancing at you trying to gauge your reaction.

Your (e/c) eyes snapped to meet his, and they lit up with excitement. "Oh my god! That would be the best, You're the best!" You rambled on, feeding into his pride and ego until he cut you off.

"Two conditions tho.." you prepared yourself for the worst," You HAVE to stop calling my Oinkawa and you bring me coffee to every study date."

_huh, not too bad- wait study date? NOOO_

"I can agree, but no calling our study sessions date, jackass." Oinkawa was relatively easy to replace with other insults.

"Fine..." he was definitely dejected at that condition, but more opportunities to annoy you he thought to himself. 

"You'll help me?..." you were basically jumping up and down at this point, you couldn't contain yourself. This was going much better than you thought when you had initially get rejected by Kuroo.

"Yes you idiot, why wouldn't I? More time to try pick up lines on you and watch you die inside? Perish the thought, I wouldn't miss the chance." You stared at him blankly, starting to regret your choice, but at least studying wouldn't be boring.

From across the room, a pair of hazel were trained on your face, watching the entire conversation transpire. And in the moment Kuroo felt weird, and couldn't say what he was feeling but he knew that he didn't want to be shown up by some pretty boy like Oikawa.


	2. A Past and A Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get to know more about your past in high school and even meet some new people *wink wink*...

**-Your Third Year at Nekoma-**

"(y/n), can you please focus on the board in front of you, rather than whatever you're doodling... thank you."

Head in the clouds and dazed, that's how you spent most your school days.

It's not that you didn't understand the material, it was always easy, but there was just nothing exciting about it. You knew exactly what you'd rather be doing right now, working on your latest painting. A mountain scene with a massive Sakura tree in the middle. It was pretty unoriginal but you loved how the tree looked and thought that a blooming Sakura was a great showcase of your talent.

As soon as the teacher turned her back to you, you continued to doodle on the sheet in front of you. It wasn't anything special, but you wanted to see how you would finish it. It was a simple skull design with flowers lacing around the top and back of it, making a crown. You always had this weird affinity for drawing skulls, not in a morbid obsession way or anything, you just always found them easy to draw and you can do just about anything with them.

**-SNATCH-**

Without you noticing, the teacher had turned back around and zoned in on you once again. This time, instead of calling you out, she took your paper and traded it for a detention slip. Of course, just the cherry on top of your day. You rolled your eyes and realized that meant you'd probably be cleaning something for the basketball or volleyball team. The coaches always got put in charge of making detention into free manual labor, seemed a little unfair to you but who were you to complain. 

With this being your last year, you stopped caring about everything. You had good grades and could coast by until graduation. You were never really close to anyone so it was easy to keep to yourself and not worry with other's personal dramas. You were content like that, even if everyone else judged you for it. All you needed was a quiet room and paint, and you were happy.

Unfortunately, like many schools, your art class was serious lacking in curriculum and funding. You made do with what you could get your hands, and you were more than happy hunt down your own supplies. You just wanted to create, specially in a world where everything seemed so dull and unexciting.

Normally you would make your way to the art studio after school, but since Ms.Bitch felt like handing you a detention slip, you headed towards the admin office to see what you were expected to do for detention.

"Sweep and mop the storage closet in Gym 2."

_Huh, not too bad all things considered._

You had thought, but that was before you saw the layer of dirt and dust in that storage room. Standing in the door way of the closet you took a deep breath and prepared to get to work.

A voice behind you startled you, "Hey delinquent, can you toss me that ball?"

You whipped your head to chew the person out, and came face to face ( _more like face to chest)_ with a tall kid with crazy black hair. You looked to the ground behind you and saw the "ball" he was referring to. You picked it up and turned to face him again.

"First off, I'm not a delinquent. I just wasn't focusing in class. Secondly, if you want your ball- Go get it!" You gave him the most innocent smile you could muster as you threw the ball to the other side of the gym. "Bye Bye, skyscraper." You watched his face go from bewilderment to annoyance as he turned to run after the ball, you waved him off and turned back to the task of cleaning the closet.

Half an hour later, and a good amount of cleaning product and sweat, there wasn't so much as a smudge on the floor. _You could eat your dinner off this floor it's so damn clean,_ you thought to yourself with a smirk.

You walked over to Coach Nekomata, who was suppose to be supervising you but you doubt he would've noticed if you went missing. You informed him that you had finished cleaning the closet floor and had put all the equipment back correctly. With a nod, he gave you permission to leave. But before you made your way out the door, you turned around and caught the attention of hazel eyes under the crazy black hair, and showed him how happy your middle finger was to meet him. 

You dashed out the door with shit-eating grin on your face before he could make a retort or retaliate, but you could briefly hear laughter and someone yelling about "that damn delinquent".

**\- A Week Later -**

You wrapped your coat around yourself tighter. It wasn't a cold day, but the slight breeze made the air a little chilly. Putting your headphones in and turning your music up all the way, you let the sound wash over and separate you from the real world. Making you feel like an outward observer for a second.

You looked around as you walked to school, admiring all the beautiful flowers that were falling from the blossoming trees. You wished you could paint something as beautiful as what you saw through your own eyes.

You can always picture the finished product and how to make it, but when you start, it never seems to work out the way you imagined. But you could always settle for a close imitation of the real thing.

You checked you watch, and groaned when you realized you needed to pick up the pace if you were going to make to school on time. With that you pulled on your backpack straps and hurried down the street to Nekoma High, hoping you had enough time to duck in the art room before first period.

As you were walking, some more students came into your view. You were trying to ignore them, but one of the pair was being obnoxiously loud. You turned to see what could possibly be so funny that he needed to laugh so loud. And of course, it was the volleyball douche from detention. You rolled your eyes and was about to turn around when his companion caught your eye.

He was much shorter than the douche bag and had long blonde ponytail that needed its roots dyed **badly**. He had his nose stuck in a hand held game. And it seemed that he had just tripped, which explains why the tall one was laughing so much.

 _What an odd pair_...

You turned back to your walk and continued to the school gates and made your way into first period just before the bell rang.

**-Two Years Later: Present Day-**

You sighed as you laid back on your bed, not bothering to catch the papers you had just knocked to the floor. Instead, you rolled over on your stomach and picked up your phone to school through some social media.

_Bikini Pic_

_Vacation Flex_

_Aww Cute Puppy_

**_*Liked*_ **

_Car Pic_

_Shameless Cleavage Selfie_

_Ughhh this sucks, is there nothing to do tonight?_

You tossed your phone back on the bed, and stood up catching a look at yourself in the mirror. _yikes._

You tried giving your hair much needed TLC, but decided to just throw it up in a half bun because that at least gets the fly-aways under control. You started debating on throwing on a movie when you heard a knock at your door.

Almost like she had read your mind, your cousin walks in and says, "Get dressed, were going to the bar for a little. Also, use some deodorant, you smell like a hobo." She flashes you an innocent smile as she dashed out the doorway before you could assault her. You gave yourself a quick sniff and came to the conclusion that you smelled better than a hobo, but definitely not like flowers.

You stripped down and gave yourself a quick, two minute shower to just freshen up, leaving you hair up in the half bun to keep it from getting wet. Once you were out of the shower you went to your closet and decided jeans were the go to, and a plain back tee with a low cut would be good enough. With a few finishing touches of jewelry, some black booties, and a little mascara: you were ready to go.

You made it out of room just as Yachi was knocking on your door, and once you grabbed your wallet and phone, your trio all piled in the Uber that was waiting downstairs for you and headed towards the bar.

The two girls neglected to mention that you were meeting other people at the bar, so you were a little less than enthused when they yelled out "Diachi!" and ran towards a buff brunette waiting outside the first bar. You groaned and followed suite, giving the brunette a small smile once you were introduced and then followed the trio inside.

 _Well at least it's only one more person,_ you internally thanked.

But, oh, did you speak much too soon.

As you walked in the bar, you heard a couple people call out Yachi's and Kiyoko's name. You turned to the table hoping it was just some passing acquaintances, but instead, you were informed that the plan was to meet up with the group of guys at the tables. You glared at Kiyoko, knowing she had planned this. She was ignoring your gaze but you could see the twisted smirk she had on her face, and you knew she was enjoying torturing you. You thought to remember this for later, because you will be getting revenge.

As you got closer to the table, everyone started hugging and greeting each other while you stood to the side awkwardly.

From behind you, someone whisper into your ear, "You look a little lonely, mind if I keep you company?"

You turned around quickly and came face to face to the one person who could single handily save your evening, Oikawa. Thank god for this annoying flirt that you called a friend, otherwise tonight was looking like a bust.

"Shittykawa, stop being creepy." **SMACK**

" **OWW** IWA-CHAN!"

You had to stifle a giggle as you watched this scene transpire. Watching someone else pick on Oikawa was really something you could get used to.

"Iwa-chan! I'm not being creepy. This is our thing. This is (y/n), remember me talking about her?" Oikawa whined as he rubbed the back of his head, which you were sure would have a bump on it tomorrow.

"Oh my goodness, (y/n)! It so nice to finally meet you, and here I thought Shittykawa had made you up. Didn't think anyone else could stand being around him." He gave you a bright smile, that almost made you blushed. You finally took a better look at Oikawa's friend. He was built VERY nicely, you almost couldn't drag your eyes away from the impressive arms he had on display in the tight tee he was wearing. Even if it wasn't for the ridiculous weapons he called arms, he would be jaw-dropping. He came with a handsome face to match, and his smile alone was enough to floor you. 

If you were one to chase after boys at the bar, he would've been your first choice.

Snapping back to reality, you shot "Iwa-chan" a smile of your own, and responded, "Trust me, I don't hang out with him of my own volition. He usually just shows up and it's harder to get rid of him than if I had a growth." This made Iwaizumi crack into a deep laugh, which brought a smile to your own face cause, wow, who knew you could look hot while laughing your ass off.

"So, Shittykawa? I'm guessing that's your fun little nickname for Prince Charming here?" You got your answer from Oikawa who shot you a glare as his lips twisted in a sour grimace, which made Iwaizumi double back over. "I think I might have to use it every once in awhile, Oikawa forbade me from using Oinkawa as his nickname."

Oikawa decided he'd had enough of being the utt of the joke and wanted to tease back, he began to purr, "Well personally, I prefer Darling, Baby, or Handsome. You could even call Da-" 

"ANDDD that's enough out of you..." Oikawa he been cut off by Iwaizumi yanking him away from your side and dragged him further into the bar, sending you an apologetic smile as you laughed at the duo.

You turned back to the rest of your group, and you were surprised that you recognized a few of them. From what you could see most of them were from Karasuno, with the exception of a few you recognized from Nekoma. They never really met you, but you knew most of the Karasuno players because of Kiyoko, and you had even watched them play a few times.

You saw Diachi standing to the side with a silver haired man, that you remember to be a setter. You walked over to start a conversation, because you knew otherwise you'd be standing alone all night. You were already here, might as well make the best of it.

As you got closer, Diachi saw you and shot you a warm smile. He turned to his companion, and introduced you two, "(y/n), this is Suga. My boyfriend. Sugar, this is (y/n). She's Kiyoko's cousin that lives with her."

_Sugar? Um, cutest couple ever. Am I allowed to be jealous of both of them?_

The other male, Suga, turned to you with the sweetest smile you'd ever seen, you almost thought you were seeing an angel in person, and said, "Wanna take some tequila shots?... Too bad you can't say no, that wasn't really a question."

You knew in that moment that you had just met your platonic soulmate, and you have never wanted to be someone's friend so bad.

**-A Few Shots Later-**

You had relaxed after a couple shots of whatever was handed to you, and now had talked to everyone in the group after Suga had dragged you around the table playing a game of "Have you met (y/n)?".

You were honestly having a much better night than you expected. Definitely out of your comfort zone, but over all really enjoying meeting these guys. You could see why Kiyoko and Yachi gushed over them all the time.

Your head had started to get a little fuzzy and you began to feel warmer, when someone wrapped their arm around you. Assuming it was Oikawa just sneaking up on you again, you leaned into the person.

"Woah there baby, you can wait till I buy you a drink." That voice was definitely not Oikawa.

You tried getting out of their arms, but quickly found out that you weren't exactly evenly matched for strength. You started to panic and suddenly the arms let you go. Your foggy mind tried steadying your legs, and turned to face a guy you had never met before but you could instantly tell was bad news.

"Terushima. It's very nice to meet you." He crackled a smile, and you could only assume it was to show off the piercing he had on his tongue.

Normally you would've been a little curious, but considering he had just snuck up and grabbed you- you weren't feeling too friendly.

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same. So, Terry, please fuck off." You ended your sentence with a smile full of poison and turned on your heels to head back to your groups table. But it seems 'Terry' had other ideas. Grabbing your arm, he held you back from walking too far from him. You whipped your head around ready to verbally knock him down a few pegs. Instead, what you saw when your head turned towards him was a random fist flying into his jaw, loosening his grip on you and sending him crumpling to the floor.

You stood there with your mouth wide open, staring at the asshole on the floor.

"If you keep staring like that, you might catch a fly."

"Iwa-chan! I mean Iwaizumi! I can't believe you just did that..." you were still stuck staring at the douche on the floor, occasionally looking at Iwaizumi to make sure you didn't just imagine that.

"Please call me Iwa, it's what I let all the pretty girls call me."

_Did this fucker just flirt with me?_

That made you snap back to reality and chuckle, knowing he was making jokes at your expense, "Well I hope the list isn't too long, I don't do well with competition." You were just trying to make a joke back, but instead he takes a step closer, but not so close that it scares you, and whispers, "Right now, you happen to be the only one on it..." and then walks away.

_What fuck is happening. Did I get drugged. Am I hallucinating._

You finally made it back to the table where Kiyoko and Yachi were, Kiyoko shooting you a confused look and you mouthed " _I'll tell you later"._

She nodded and seemed satisfied, luckily, cause you weren't even sure what you would tell her. Suddenly, Suga and Diachi were at your right side, and you instantly felt more relaxed as you three struck up a conversation. They got on the topic of their high school volleyball days, and everyone at the table instantly perked up and joined the conversation.

Distracted by the conversation, you hadn't noticed that Iwaizumi and Oikawa had joined your group and were standing on either side of you.

Normally, flirtatious comments never got you flustered, no matter how handsome the guy was, but something about Iwaizumi had him hooked in your mind and you weren't sure why. You decided to shake that train of thought and focused back on Diachi. Who was now telling a story about the time he got knocked out in a game, when all of a sudden his face lit up and he scrambled out of his seat (which was no easy feat considering how much we had all been drinking) and ambled towards the door. Our entire group confused as to why he suddenly jumped up like that, turned around to see him hugging on none other than your least favorite pine tree.

You rolled your eyes as you watched Diachi drag the taller male over to the group. You groaned internally and wished on your lucky stars that he would just leave you alone tonight, you were buzzed and you didn't need him ruining it for you. 

Seeing you clearly distressed, Oikawa shot you an apologetic smile, even though it's no one's fault but your own that you don't get along with the tall asshole. Iwaizumi must have also picked up on your discomfort, and leaned towards your ready to play Prince Charming again, "Hey, you ok? Is Kuroo your ex or something?"

You faked a gagging sound and turned back to him with disgust written on your face, "Oh hell no, we just butt heads a lot. Not exactly on the best of terms. Plus I'd never date him. He's not my type in the least."

"Oh really. So what is your type then?"

You knew you were treading in dangerous waters; but the alcohol in your system had already disarmed all your warnings, so there was nothing to stop what came out next,

" **You** "

Before you even realized that you said that out loud, Iwaizumi looked at you with an amused smirk and you knew you had just signed your death certificate.

You covered your face with your hands, which earned a hearty laugh from the handsome male.

"Can we pretend I didn't just say that? The alcohol doesn't help me think and-"

"You can pretend all you want, but I don't think I'm going to be forgetting that for awhile." He had leaned close to your ear, and you feel his hot breath on you neck causing you to shiver involuntary. You were frozen on spot and didn't know how to function anymore.

_What is he doing to me and how? How is a person I just met having more of an effect on me than most guys I've dated?_

You didn't know the answer, but you weren't too dissuaded to try and find it... After all, the solution was sitting right next to you in the tightest tee you had ever seen with an almost empty whiskey glass.

You decided that maybe it was time for you to step away and head to the bathroom to get a little air. You told Yachi where you were going and walked away.

Once you were in the bathroom you looked yourself in the mirror and it finally registered how drunk you were, probably three or fours shots past buzzed.

_Damn you Suga..._

Thinking about the wicked hangover you were going to be suffering in the morning, you ran your hands under the faucet and patted you face with cold water to cool yourself off. You debated whether it was the alcohol or Iwaizumi that had you feeling so hot, rolling your eyes and laughing at yourself.

After freshening up a bit, you took a deep breath and decided to walk back out. As you were coming out the bathroom, a hand grabbed your wrist, gently, but with enough force to pin you on the wall in the hallway. You looked up to see the last person you wanted to be caged by: Kuroo.

"Hey there, Chibi-Chan. Have you been avoiding me tonight?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I love Terushima, and hated making him a bad guy, but he just fit into that role so well.
> 
> Once again, love me some constructive criticism, but dont be an ass.
> 
> Do I dare break Oikawa's heart or let him be happy in this story? Ugh it'd be so angtsy if I did...


	3. Drunk Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're an idiot. A big dumb idiot. 
> 
> Last time on Oxytocin:
> 
> You got tricked into going to the bar by Kiyoko to meet up with a bunch of the volleyball players.  
> You ran into to trouble only to be saved by Iwaizumi, who suddenly showed you more than just his friendly side.  
> The night was going better than you could've hoped, but of course that came crashing down when your least favorite person walked in. You had enough luck to be able to avoid him for awhile, but your luck ran out.
> 
> "Chibi-chan, Have you been avoiding me tonight?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, I was way too lazy to proof read this chapter cause it's like 2 am. So if you see a grammar or spelling mistake- just squint until it goes away.

"Chibi-chan, -ave you beeen avoiding mee?"

_Great. He's drunk. I'm sure he's even less tolerable with alcohol in his system... Why won't he leave me alone? Are there not enough hot guys here to distract him from his mission to crush my soul?_

You were frustrated and honestly not in the state of mind (i.e. too drunk) to deal with his teasing tonight. You two hadn't interacted too much, but you knew from each encounter that this was going to be full of annoying banter that would just end with you seeing red.

"You smell like a bar trashcan, Kuroo. Get off of me." You tried pulling away from his grip, but for the second time that night, you found that you were out matched for strength.

"So it's ok when Iwaizumi gets close, but what's so bad about it being me?" His breath was rank with the smell of alcohol.

_Jesus, how much has he drank tonight?_

"Kuroo, I mean it. Let go or I'll start screaming."

He chuckled at this, much to your confusion. Then he leaned closer than you liked. Stopping just and inch from your ear, you could feel the vibration from his deep voice as he said, "You wouldn't be the first girl that screamed for me."

You scoffed and was ready to smack him, but he was drunk and probably didn't realize what he was saying.

"Kuroo. That's gross." His grip had loosened, so you pushed the bigger male off of you and began to head back to your table where the others were waiting for you, leaving Kuroo standing by the bathrooms alone.

_Wait what? Girl?_

All your other thoughts came to a stand still as this confusion rose to the top.

_Didn't Oikawa say he was gay? God this boy is so confusing. Why the fuck is a gay man flirting with me? I'm sure it's just him trying to get a rise out of me like he did that day in the cafeteria. He probably doesn't realize that I know he's gay. What an ass. I'm so sick of his teasing, I didn't even do anything to him._

You were lost in thought, and hadn't realized that you'd arrived at the table. Now that you looked up, you made eye contact with several confused and concerned eyes. Oikawa being the first to pull you aside and ask what was wrong.

"Nothing, I seriously was just lost in thought about nothing." Liar.

"Oh okay, you just seemed really bothered by something. It's not Iwaizumi is it? I know he's been pretty bold tonight, which is so weird for him but-" You were giving the pretty boy a blank stare as he had begun a tangent about his friend. Noticing this, he shut his mouth and imitated a zipper across his lips and 'threw away the key'.

Rolling your eyes at him, like always, "Oikawa I promise Iwa hasn't crossed any lines. He's been nothing but a gentleman, very forward, but nothing inappropriate." You shot him a genuine grin to show that you were being honest.

"Okay, thank god. I kept thinking that I would have to chastise Iwa-chan and I was seriously not looking forward to that..." He had trailed off, and you could imagine how 'chastising' Iwaizumi would've gone: Oikawa in a body bag.

"No, seriously. Everything is good. In fact, maybe I'll throw our little Iwa a bone or two..." you were joking, but you couldn't help but smile at the thought of touching those arms without anything on them. 

_Maybe it was the biceps that made him sink into your head so easily..._

"Eww can you please stop drooling over my best friend. Like I support both of you 'getting freaky with it', but can you can not fantasize about him right in front of me, it's really killing my buzz." He was trying to stay serious as he said this, but you could clearly tell that he had been planning to set you and Iwaizumi up the entire night from the sparkle in his eye.

_That little snake. He was playing matchmaker and I played right into it._

You were honestly a little shocked when you realized that he probably had this planned for awhile now. You gave him a little shove, making him laugh at your face which had shock written all over it. 

You made a mental note that you were sobering up, and it was probably a good time to head home before Suga convinced you to take more shots.

Making your way back to your table, you noticed a slight commotion going on at one end. You went to stand between Kiyoko and Yachi on the opposite end from the scuffle.

"Uh hey, what's going on?"

You finally got a better look at the scene laid out in front of you.

Diachi and another male you hadn't met yet were bent over the ground, trying help someone back to their feet. There was what sounded like yelling coming from the person on the ground, they were clearly upset and the alcohol was not helping that fact. Their words were slurred and hard to understand, but you thought you caught a snippet of, "I thought he loved me..." followed by more incoherent babbling.

You weren't sure what was going on, but you knew that someone needed to get them out of here. 

The male that was helping Diachi must've had the same thought, and looked up at the rest of us.

His gold eyes looking at everyone and then speaking to the group, "So, is anyone sober to enough to help him home? I'll pay for your Uber, I'm not sober enough to get him all the way home. He lives on the other side of campus near the library."

_Free Uber ride home? Sign me the fuck up._

"Um, I don't mind helping. I'm Kiyoko's cousin, (y/n). I don't live too far from there anyways."

Now that you were closer, you could see the stranger better in the bar's dark lighting.

Even if he didn't have gold eyes, the word striking didn't even do him justice. Standing closer to him, you see the dual tones in his spiked hair and the muscles that toned every inch of his visible body. You couldn't stop your mind from wondering what hid underneath his clothes.

_Beef Cake. That's what your nickname is going to be._

"Bokuto, he needs to go now. I think the bouncer is starting to notice and I really don't want any trouble tonight. So let's call the Uber and wait outside, I'm sure I saw a bench earlier." Diachi interjected your thoughts, but he was right so you turned to talk to Kiyoko.

"I'll meet you guys outside, just let me go talk to Yoko real quick." You turned away quickly, looking for her dark in the group of guys around your table.

_There she is!_

"Hey, so, I'm going to help Diachi and Bokuto with their friend. I'm gonna take him home in an Uber and then I'm going straight to the apartment, sound good?"

Taking her silence as an agreement, you continued, "I just wanted to let you know, in case you or Yachi wanted to head home too."

You both looked over at the little blonde, who was currently chatting with another Karasuno alumni named Kageyama.

Turning back to Kiyoko, you both made a silent agreement that she wasn't planning on going home with either of you, you both laughed silently as you walked outside to meet the boys.

"So do you know who it is you're taking home?" It was an innocent question, and you didn't read into it, but Kiyoko already knew the answer.

With a slight hesitation, you answered," Oh um, well I didn't really get a good look at them. I just figured it must be one of the Fukorudani guys, cause that's where Diachi said Bokuto was from. Plus I figured that a free ride home was worth helping some poor guy get back to his place safely." You shrugged and figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Little did you know, Kiyoko was giving you a side eye that said you were so very wrong.

Once you got outside, the fresh air hit you and you immediately felt the rest of your buzz fade away. Stepping into the brisk night you cursed at yourself for forgetting a jacket. You felt a shiver travel down your spine as you stood there among your new friends waiting for the Uber.

"Where's Bokuto?" you turned to Diachi once you noticed the missing beef cake and his drunk ward.

"He's just around the corner, poor guy started blowing chunks. But he should be ok once the Uber gets here in a couple minutes." You nodded and pulled out your phone to flip through the notifications you had.

You heard the bar door open behind but paid it no mind. Then you suddenly felt warm cloth wrap around your shoulders, followed by strong hands holding you in place. 

You craned your next back to meet the eyes of the resident Prince Charming of the night. Iwaizumi stood behind you with his hands on your shoulders, "So you looked like you needed this more than me," Motioning at the jacket that was wrapped around you.

"Thank you, Iwa. You're really being too sweet to me. Makes it hard to want to tease you."

"I can't say the same, I really enjoy that face you make when I get to tease you." This made you freeze, unable to think of a witty response as your brain shorted out.

"Yep! That's the one," he leaned closer to your face, "I could get use to seeing that face..."

You could smell the whiskey on his breath but that didn't deter you from staring back into his eyes, feeling him move in closer and closer.

You closed your eyes, waiting for your lips to finally connect... until they didn't. You felt him gently grab your chin and pull downwards so he could kiss you softly on the forehead. You stared at him as he smiled softly and walked back into the bar.

Stuck in the same place, you couldn't ove your legs. Your mind, however, was moving at a million miles a second. While you were trying to process what was about to happen and what did happen, someone next to you cleared their throat. Diachi.

You saw that the Uber had arrived and Bokuto was on one side helping the poor drunk into the backseat, "Your charriot m'lady," Diachi was playfully gesturing into the car after opening the door for you.

You shot him an amused smile, and made sure to thank him, "We should do this again sometime. I actually had a lot of fun, and I need to out drink Suga. He's a monster, but I'm determined to outlast him next time."

"We definitely should, just let me know when you're ready to exact revenge on him, lord know he needs it." With a final wave and a smile, he closed the door and suddenly everything was so quiet. Well until it was interrupted by the one sound that you hated more than nails on a chalkboard.

"Awwwa *hiccup* Chiiibi-channn"

_You. Have. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Kidding._

What kind of trash luck do you have? The one person had managed to evade, suddenly was locked in a car with you for the next 15 minutes.

"Kuroo, you're drunk. Let's just sit in silence till we get to your place."

"Whyyy Chibi- *hiccup* you haven't talked to me all night!"

"That's because you're an ass everytime we do talk."

"Aww that's ju just partt of my charmmm," He hummed out the last part, and scooted closer to you.

It was quiet for a couple minutes before he spoke softly, "Chibi, am I really that terrible to be around?"

A little shocked with how he said that, but you scoffed and made an ugly laugh before saying, "Terrible? You're miserable to be around, not just the terrible nicknames but god the bullying is intolerable..." You had glanced his way as you were saying this, but what you saw made you stop short of anything else you were going to say.

Kuroo was looking down at his feet, with his hands gripped tightly in his lap. But the part that unsettled you the most was the tears growing in his eyes. 

"Kuroo?..."

"Hey, I'm sorry. I know I'm a pain..."

"Kuroo, I was just joking. Don't listen to me. I barely know you, it's not fair for me to say anything about you."

There was silence for the rest of the ride, only occasionally hearing Kuroo hiccup as he stared out the window.

You wanted to say something, but honestly you were at a lose for words. What do you say to someone you barely know as they cried?

You continued to stare at the window until you heard the driver say you had arrived. You hoped out of the car and made you way to Kuroo's side to help him out. Thankfully, he had sobered up enough that he could hold most of his own weight, otherwise you had no clue how you'd be able to make up the stairs to his apartment.

It was strange seeing him so blank. He looked so empty. Almost sad even. You wish you knew what was running through his head so you could help him.

Finally you made it up the second flight of stairs and to his front door, "Uh thanks for making sure I got home. You gonna be ok?"

He scratched the back of his head, standing in the hallway, the both of you only illuminated by the moonlight from outside.

"I'm a big tough girl, I'll be ok." You winked at him, hoping to get some kind of emotion show up on his face. 

He just nodded and looked down at the floor, and you were at a lost for words again.

"You know it's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger." You got not response, nothing even showed that he had heard you a all even. But you weren't looking for a response, you just felt like you needed to say that.

You started to turn and walk away when you heard a soft chuckle come from the tall male as he leaned in his own doorway, "You know, I knew a girl in high school. She told me the exact same thing."

"Well she sounds like a really smart person and you should keep listening to her."

"Ya know what, I think I will..."

You stayed quiet, waiting to see if he needed to say anything else, and when neither of you spoke, you turned to continue walking away. Kuroo whispered something, and you almost missed it.

**"will you stay...please..."**

You knew it was a bad idea, but seeing him so broken, so vulnerable, you knew that leaving him alone was an even worse idea. Not trusting your words, you just nodded and walked slowly back to him.

He opened the door and you walked into his apartment, which was roomier than you expected. It was simple in design and plain in decor. He pointed towards a door, and said it was the bathroom and that he was going to show and back. Turning the the adjacent door, he opened it and said you were welcome to take the bed.

You knew better than argue with him while he was still drunk, so you went into his room and decided that sleeping in your t-shirt and underwear would be fine since he was going to sleep on the couch. Or at least that's what you assumed. You didn't hear Kuroo come back from the shower because as soon as your head hit the pillow, it was lights out for you.

"Thank you (y/n), you don't remember but I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I keep doing a rewind at the beginning of each chapter? Just in case I take too long between chapters, and you don't have to go back and reread everytime? LMK if you think its a good idea, I probably will.
> 
> Also, oof- Sorry Kuroo.  
> See he's not going to be such a bad guy, he's just misunderstood! Kinda. He's still a little shit.  
> Next Chapter will feature more flashbacks and some of Kuroo's POV (weeeeeheee)


	4. A Shitty Memory Indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Were getting to see more of Kuroo's history and his thoughts, and maybe some cute fluff because I can't have everything too angsty...
> 
> There are sensitive subjects in this particular chapter, i wrote out a trigger warning right before it begins. You might lose some context but I will include a summary of said context in the end notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time on Oxytocin...
> 
> You had gone out to the bars with friends, and had quite the eventful night. Iwaizumi almost kissed you even, not that you even had time to think about that. You were trying to get your good Samaritan points and take a drunk stranger home, however those plans back fired when the drunk you were taking home ended up being Kuroo. But you realized in the car ride to his apartment that he had a soft side too. You don't know why he was crying, but when he asked you to stay for the night, you knew that he needed a friend there. 
> 
> Love you all very much, and I hope you enjoy. xo- Chaos

**-Flashback to High School-**

**Kuroo's POV**

Everyday was always the same for Kuroo. Walk to school with Kenma, eat lunch with Kenma, practice volleyball with Kenma, walk Kenma home, hang out with Kenma, and go home. This was his life for the better part of middle and high school. Kenma was always there, and Kuroo didn't want it any other way. Kenma was his best friend. And it wasn't until his third year of high school that he realized that he was in love with him.

Kuroo wrestled with these feelings night and day for months. Between not wanting to lose Kenma and not wanting to be ostracized, he kept his turmoil to himself and settled for faking his happiness until the feelings passed.

But they never did.

Kuroo was almost at the end of his rope one day while he and Kenma were hanging out after school. They were at Kenma's house, and his parents weren't home, like usual. Kenma was laying across the couch playing on his Switch, his legs across Kuroo's lap. Kuroo was sitting on the other end doing homework, trying to ignore the warm contact that was Kenma's leg in his lap.

_Ok focus Kuroo, y equals mx-_

"Kuroo. Do you like me?"

_HUH_

All of Kuroo's brain shut down in that instant. All of his brain cells immediately heard that question and went into gay panic, they packed up and said 'see you later'. He was left staring at the math in front him, which he understood before but now it looked like a foreign language. He sat there with wide eyes and mouth agape for what felt like an eternity. Neither boy speaking, one frozen with fear and the other still tapping away at whatever game he was playing. 

Kuroo's brain restarted temporarily, giving him enough brain power to stutter out a couple words, "O- of course, you're my best friend..."

The tapping stopped and the smaller blonde boy sat up and faced Kuroo, who was still staring at the paper in front of him. Kuroo was focused on every shift Kenma caused in the couch, feeling him inch closer until he was kneeling on the couch next to Kuroo. Kenma spoke softely to Kuroo again, "Kuroo. Do you like me?"

Dead silence. You could hear a pin drop in the next room over with how silent it was. At this point, Kuroo wasn't even breathing. Every part of him was panicking.

_How did he know? Did I do something that made him suspect? Oh god did I make him uncomfortable? IS he freaked out? Should I lie? Maybe he just means as friends? Of course I like him as a friend, he's my best friend... who I'm in love with. And who obviously knows. Oh shit. He's staring at me. Did he say something? Do I respond? He probably hates me. I don't know what to do. I'm gonna laugh. He has to be joking. Its a joke. Fuck. Kenma doesn't joke. He's not joking, he knows, and he thinks I'm gross. What do I say? Apologize? Yes-_

This spiral could've gone on for hours but was interrupted by the whisper out of Kenma's mouth.

"Kuroo, do y- do you want to kiss me?" 

That was almost too much for Kuroo, of course he did, he's thought about it a million times. What it would feel like, how Kenma taste, what sounds he'd make... Kuroo's mind scrambled to focus before his train of thought went too far.

He finally looked up and made eye contact with Kenma's gold irises. He was silent for a moment before trusting his voice again, "Do you want me to?..."

They continued to stare in each others eyes, neither one able to speak up. Kuroo out of fear and shock of what he just said, and Kenma waiting for the older boy to focus on reality.

"Do it."

That was all Kuroo needed to hear for him to lose what little self control he had, he launched himself toward the younger boy. Knitting his hand into the soft blonde hair, while the other gently caressed the boy's face. He wanted to savor every moment of this first kiss. Memorizing every detail as he slowly leaned closer, not wanting to break the spell that had set over both of them. He was still in shock, but honestly had lost all the fucks he had and didn't care what happened after this, just as long as he got to remember this.

They stared into each other eyes, Kuroo could lose himself in the gold that held his gaze. Who was he kidding, he already had, he couldn't look away and he never wanted to. Time felt it was slow for Kuroo, he could feel every breath he took, his heartbeats as his heart was trying to escape his chest, and every centimeter he moved closer to the other boy.

They finally closed the gap and Kuroo felt his whole body light up with warmth. A dream come true. He had thought about this every night while he laid in bed. And here he was finally living the reality. He could say without a doubt that his imagination did this no justice, he wasn't even close to how good this felt.

_Holy shit, he's so warm. I can still taste the candy we had earlier on his lips. Maybe he's just naturally that sweet. Fuck I can feel myself getting hard, I can't focus anymore. I can't fight it off. He's gonna think I'm weird, fuck. But god does he feel good on my lips, so soft. And his hair..._

Getting too swept up in the moment, involuntarily, he let out a moan and then froze to see what the other boy would say, hoping he didn't freak him out.

"Kuroo... you don't have to be so gentle if you don't want to be."

This sent the raven haired captain into a spiral, he had no experience or clue what he was doing but he knew that he wanted to take this as far as he could- and those words just solidified it. He moved to grab the wrists of the smaller boy, effectively pinning him to the couch as Kuroo laid on top breathing heavy, broken breaths trying to let his mind catch up with his body.

Before doing anything more, Kuroo leaned down to the other's ear and gently whispered, "Are you sure about this Kenma?" He pulled back to gauge his reaction.

The latter just stared into his eyes with confusion, "Kuroo. I've been waiting for you too make a move for the 6 months, you oblivious bastard..."

Kuroo watched him roll his eyes, and something in him snapped. He grabbed the blond and pulled him into a passionate kiss, much rougher than the first one. He pushed his weight onto the smaller boy as they kissed. Passionate kisses, barely giving them time to breath, only breaking to occasionally gasp for air. Kuroo turned Kenma's head to the side, exposing his neck and shoulder and proceeded to attack it, leaving trails of wet kisses up and down his jaw to his neck. Kenma was at the bigger boy's mercy, not that he could complain and even if he wanted to he couldn't form any words. Lewd moans escaping Kenma's mouth, which just goaded Kuroo on and made the ravenette groan into his neck as he felt himself grow harder.

"Fuuuck Kuroo, please don't stop. I need more, I need you..."

_What did he just say.. Does he mean--_

Kuroo's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of keys and a door unlocking. They jumped away from each other like they had just been electrocuted. Kenma's parents suddenly walked into the living room to see the two boys on opposite ends of the couch again. Kenma drawn back into whatever game he was playing, while Kuroo used a pillow and notebook in his lap trying to act natural, like he didn't just have his tongue down their son's throat while thinking about...

_NO WE CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.. HIS PARENTS ARE RIGHT THERE..._

_"_ So Kuroo, should I expect you to stay for dinner tonight?"

Kenma's mother was being polite, like always, but with how wrecked his state of mind was right now and the nervous sweat that was starting to build, Kuroo could barley focus on anything she said. He tried to mumble out a response as best he could, only being able to mutter, "I- no, eating at home."

She just smiled and walked into the kitchen, leaving the two teenagers alone once again.

"Well that was close."

"No shit Kenma. She would've killed us."

The boy looked up with his golden eyes, and just blankly stated, "Yea well I still have my work cut out for me." He had gestured at the array of hickeys Kuroo had unintentionally left, ranging from a light pink to a dark purple.

"Yea well maybe don't egg me on next time. You really got me riled up..." Despite being the one who took control and left all those marks, Kuroo was still shy and shocked at himself. He had never done anything like that, and suddenly he had just left a trail of evidence on his crush.

_Oh my god, it's so gay... I'm so gay..._

He had begun his gay panic stage again. Kenma quickly snapped him out of it, "Kuroo, I really like you."

**-Months Later-**

**TW: PLEASE READ ALL OF THIS: (A/N from Chaos: This part does include fighting and a couple arguments. It might be strong content for some. It is not physically abusive, but does have some manipulative language that evolves into yelling and emotional abuse. So please read at your own** **discretion, I can't gauge how strong it is because what triggers everyone is different depending on who you are. I am only including this content simply for the fact that I think it will make the story more real and give Kuroo the chance for growth and development. I clearly do not support any relationship like this, and is a terrible example of anything healthy. As an abuse survivor, I personally think it's important to see** **characters** **go through these real life "evils" and survive so that others can do the same. I am writing from personal experience** **. If you want to skip, just scroll until you see a bunch of lines and "END OF TW" in bold!)**

Kuroo and Kenma were walking home from volleyball practice, on the way to Kuroo's house to hang out and do homework. Or more like, Kuroo would do both their homework while Kenma gamed. Not that Kuroo really minded, the homework was easy and it got Kenma to stay longer.

Kuroo and Kenma had been 'together' for a couple months now, and while Kuroo was thankful he reciprocated any feelings at all. He still really wanted to tell their friends and make it official. He wanted to go on dates with Kenma, and actually do couple things rather than hide away in their houses, making out when their parents happened to be out. And even if they were confined to only hanging out as a couple in their houses, Kenma would barely let Kuroo hold him or anything. It was always 'Kuroo I'm gaming right now' or 'Kuroo you still have to finish that homework'. While Kuroo was very respectful of Kenma's boundaries, and didn't want to make him uncomfortable, he just wanted to feel like they were actually dating.

"Hey Kenma, am I your boyfriend?"

"Huh?" the blond didn't even bother looking up from his game, and from the tone of his voice he barely cared about the conversation they were about to have.

"Am I your boyfriend?"

"Kuroo we've talked about this before. I don't want to put labels on it yet. I like where we are now, are you not enjoying our time together?" at this statement, he finally put down his game and stopped walking. He simply stared at the taller male, waiting for the answer he wanted to hear.

"No!! No that's not what I meant at all! You know I love all the time we spend together, every second is a blessing. I just wish we could do more..."

"Kuroo I love you, you know that right? I love you very much."

"Kenma! I love you too!"

_OH MY GOD HE JUST SAID THE L WORD_

Kuroo couldn't keep back his smile at the fact that he could finally tell Kenma he loved him, even though he wanted to say it since day one. But the next sentence soured that joy a little for Kuroo. 

"If you love me and you love all the time we spend together, then it shouldn't matter how we spend the time, right?"

_I can't say no, I did just say I loved him. I don't want him to think I was lying. He's not completely wrong. He's the love of my life and we could be doing anything and it'll be good._

"Right..."

"Ok, then, end of conversation. Now let's get to your place, it's getting chilly out here." The blond started his walk again, but failed to notice Kuroo falter in following him as his face showed his disappointment.

_I guess he's right, I can't complain too much. We do spend almost everyday together. I shouldn't be so demanding, I don't want to upset him. He cares about me and that's what matters. I love him._

- **Fast Forward a Couple Days-**

**At Volleyball Practice**

The Nekoma team was playing a practice round against other players from the bench, it was a friendly match and everyone was having a good time. Each side trading banter and taking stabs at each other. The starters were flowing smoothly together like they always did.

_Like blood, we bring oxygen so the brain can preform_

He always got a kick out of his pregame speech that everyone on the team seemed to enjoy expect for Kenma who always groaned at it.

_And goddamn, the brain looks good today..._

Kuroo occasionally would space out like this during practice, but honestly who could blame him when his 'boyfriend' was sweating like that and yet somehow kept that aloof expression on his face. Kuroo wanted to grab him by his hair and-

"KUROO SNAP OUT OF IT!" Yaku had snuck up on him and kicked the giant blocker's feet out from under him, "You can daydream on your own time, we need our captain to focus and stay sharp."

_He's not wrong but it's hard to focus when those shorts ride up like that..._

Kuroo shook his head and took Yaku's advice (more like warning) and got his head in the game. He was in the front row now, this was his time to shine. After all, they didn't call him the scheming captain for no reason. He patiently waited for each chance to block his underclassman at every attack, and occasionally getting the chance to deal his own attacks. Kenma sent him another set, it was the perfect time to tip the ball right to the campfire zone of the other teams court.

_Anddddd Boom, no one is there. Another point for us._

That ended the last set of the day, he turned to Kenma with a huge smile plastered on his face, "Nice set, Babe."

Kuroo and Kenma both froze, realizing what Kuroo had just blurted out in front of the entire volleyball team.

Meeting a the confused eyes of his teammates, Kuroo stuttered out, "Uh my bad, I meant Bud. Ya know, my bad..."

The Nekoma team decided not to press the issue, and just continued cleaning up the gym before heading to the club room to change.

"Kuroo. Stay behind." Kenma spoke with a tone, that Kuroo had never heard before, and honestly never wanted to hear again. He might be taller and stronger but the smaller male controlled everything in this moment. As the last of the filtered out, Kenma turned on the captain. His eyes and hair wild with anger, "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? WAIT CLEARLY YOU WEREN'T. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KUROO- NO SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR SORRY. ARE YOU SO DESPERATE TO FEEL LIKE A 'REAL COUPLE' THAT YOU JUST WANT TO OUT US TO EVERYONE ON THE TEAM? HUH, IS THAT IT? GOD FOR SOMEONE SO SMART, YOU REALLY ARE STUPID. YOU'RE LUCKY I WOULD EVEN CONSIDER DATING YOU, YOU'RE AN IDIOT." Kenma finally broke off his rant to catch his breath as he stared at Kuroo, who's eyes had filled up with tears and were about to spill over.

"I said i'm sorry Ken-"

"Yea I Fucking Heard You The First Time."

Kuroo had never heard Kenma speak like this before, he wasn't sure it was more jarring because it was directed at him or if it was because it was an emotion other than aloofness.

"Please forgive me Kenma, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to...."

" **Were done."**

And just like that, Kuroo broke. He fell to his knees, and let the tears fall, not caring who heard or saw.

Kenma still stood there, standing over the once taller man. He bent down and lifted Kuroo's head to face him, "How pathetic.... You know, you're quite handsome when you cry." And with that, Kenma walked away. Kuroo was left alone in the dim gym, folding in on himself, crying.

He was so focused on the fact that he had lost his true love, the boy he was so head over heels in love with, that he didn't hear the door open as someone else entered.

"You know, my mom always said, it's not bad to cry. I've always believed it makes a person stronger."

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**End of TW!!! Thank you for sticking with me through that!**

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-Back to Present Day, Morning After Bar** **Escapade** **-**

**Reader POV**

You rubbed your eyes as you slowly opened them, trying to brace yourself against the bright light coming from the window.

_Ugh why is it so bright, my room is usually so dark. I need new curtains. I don't think it's ever been so bright in m- OH SHIT._

You bolted up right in bed and quickly remembered that you were in fact, not in your room, but in Kuroo's room.

_Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck._

You looked around, not sure what to do.

_Ok, so he's probably still passed out I can just grab my stuff and run out the door. I'll be super quiet so not to wake him on the couch. God he's going to have such a bad hangover when he wakes up... speaking of hangovers ughhhh_

Yours had just hit you in that moment, almost as if you said the magic word. It wasn't the worst, but you knew your day was going to be filled with greasy food and sappy movies cause you weren't going to be productive at all. You were gathering your things, which consisted of your pants, your phone, your wallet, and... Iwaizumi's jacket. You had almost forgotten what happened (and what didn't) last night, it almost floored you.

_Holy shit, I was this close to kissing Iwa. Does he even remember? Was it just cause we were drinking? No, no time to overthink right now..._

You quickly made the bed before you turned your focus back on sneaking out of Kuroo's place so you could get home and take a shower. You felt disgusting and you were sure you looked it too.

You slowly opened the door, and much to your confusion, you didn't see Kuroo on the couch.

_Ok, that's weird. Did he sneak out? The bathroom door is open. Where-_

And that's when the smell hit you, heavenly scents wafted the air and tempted your nose. You looked around the edge of the door, and low and behold- Kuroo was cooking. 

"About time you woke up, I was afraid I'd have to go in there and drag you out of bed. Come on, get some food while it's hot... Sleeping Beauty."

You groaned at the new nickname, "Isn't it a little early for nicknames... Bed Head?"

You both giggled for a second before you made eye contact, and for some reason you didn't want to look away. That hazel tone, held something so familiar to you. It's a good thing Kuroo did, He went back to the pan on the stove top before getting you a plate and filling it with rice, eggs, and a piece of mackerel.

"Fish? For breakfast?"

"Well technically it's brunch, but yes. It's good for you. It has a lot of Vitamin B and selenium, it protects your cells."

"Oh my god, you're such a nerd. I would've never guessed. A volleyball hunk AND a secret nerd? What an interesting coin." You continued eating your breakfast, paying no mind to the smirk that spread across his face after hearing what you just said.

"Oya? So you think I'm a hunk?"

"Wh-what? No! Why would you say that? Leave me alone, I'm trying to eat."

"You literally just said it (y/n). You called me a volleyball hunk." He had that smirk stretched across his face and he stared you down, while you were trying to distract yourself from the growing heart across your cheeks.

"Can you not hold a conversation without trying to torment the other person? Just let me eat." He chuckled at this, but let you continue eating.

This gave you the chance to look around the room a little. It was much brighter than it was last night as light streamed through the big windows at the other end of the room. You took in the warm radiance that was coming from the sun. He had a few simple art pieces on his walls, and the rest of his decor was surprisingly less 'bachelor pad' than you expected. You finally turned your focus back on your food, and you honestly had to compliment the chef, it was phenomenal. You turned to Kuroo, and stopped yourself from speaking. The male had his gaze turned down and staring at the table, obviously lost in thought but didn't look worried or upset, just contemplative. You gave him a better look, now that you could look at him while not wanting to kill him.

_He has such a nice jaw line, and his hair might be crazy but I bet its so soft. His lips look just as soft. I could stare at those for hours...._

You had gotten a little lost in thought, thinking about the mystery that Kuroo was to you, and you finally looked up from his lips only to meet those hazel eyes. His hazel piercing your (e/c), both of you unwilling to look away.

He spoke to you softly, and it startled you with how gentle his voice was, "(y/n)...-"

"The food is great! I was just thinking how right you were about the fish, I can already feel my cells being protected." You took a big bite of rice, as if to punctuate that sentence. In all honesty, you were just a little scared to hear what he was going to say, you were sure it was nothing good with how gentle his voice was.

He just laughed at you and turned back to eating his own food. But you couldn't stand the silence that was stretching on, so of course you had to say something to antagonize him.

"You know, I don't know if it's just cause it's the morning, but you're a lot more tolerable right now."

"Wow, that almost sounded like a compliment," you both smirked at each other, little did you know he had more ammo than you, "I'll have to agree tho. I don't know if it was just cause I was drinking but you seemed a lot more cute when you were asleep in your underwear..." He had grabbed a cup of tea and was now looking at you over the edge with evil eyes. 

You didn't know what to say, but you soon found the words, "YOU SON OF A BITCH! You snuck in there and watched me sleep?!?!"

"To be fair, you're the one who undressed and fell asleep in my bed, I just happened to notice when I was crawling in."

"Wh-wha-WHAT! YOU SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS ME??? You pervert!"

"Of course I did, what did you think I would sleep on the couch in my own apartment? I think the fuck not. Don't worry I didn't look or touch anything. I just noticed when I first raised the blankets when I got in..."

_...thank god_

"...and then once more to double check, and then another time to triple check, and th-"

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE THE WORST!"

This had him dying of laughter, and almost made him fall out of his chair, "(y/n), (y/n)! I'm joking! I promise I'm joking. I only saw once. Believe it or not I am a gentleman."

"Well I guess I can't be too upset, after all you are gay- so it' not like it matters to you anyway..."

_How's that saying go? 'A hush fell over the crowd'..._

" ** _GAY?_** Who told you I was gay?"

"Oikawa did, he said you dated a guy in high school. Are you not?"

"I mean he's not wrong, I do like men..." He took a long sip of his tea at this.

The silence settled in again, and continued to grow longer, until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Ok well, I need to head out. My shower is calling my name and I've got plenty of homework to keep me busy... So, I'll see you around." You had stood up to go and were walking to the door, but before you could reach the handle, Kuroo had grabbed your arm to stop you. Confused you looked up at him, as he suddenly was towering over you.

"Uh-ummm can I... get your number?"

"My number?"

"Yea. I'll help tutor you. For Chemistry. So give me your number so I can text you when to meet me."

You were still a bit shocked and confused as to why and when he changed his mind, but you weren't going to say no because goddamn it you were going to pass that class.

"Oh sure! That'd be great! I can't believe you change your mind!"

You hopping up and down excitedly as you typed your number in his phone, and then thanked him again before running out the door to walk to your apartment.

Kuroo looked down and changed your contact name:

## ♥ **Chibi-chan** ♥

He snickered at it, knowing you'd throw a fit if you ever found out.

Walking across the room he came to a stop in front a bookcase. Some old volleyball pictures from his years at Nekoma caught his eye. One face in particular stuck out to him.

"You really can't leave me alone, let me have peace. Can you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically in the TW passage, it dives into Kenma and Kuroo having a hidden relationship that Kenma refuses to make official or tell anyone about. Kuroo accidentally calls him babe at practice one day, and Kenma freaks out and tells him they're done. Kuroo is crying in the gym and someone enters and says, "You know, my mother always said that crying is good for you. I've always believed it makes a person stronger."
> 
> There will be more content on Kuroo'd past relationship with Kenma and why he is the way he is now. Not to mention now were going to get to see more nerd Kuroo!


	5. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is an annoying texter. We get to see more of Kuroo's sad past, and let's just say it's a set up.
> 
> This is probably gonna be one of my shorter chapters, mostly here for character interaction and plot development. Kind of a filler chapter.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> xo- Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Time on Oxytocin...
> 
> Kuroo has flashbacks about his relationship with Kenma, and the stranger that came to help him. While you wake up the morning after your night out, and have a surprisingly pleasant morning with Kuroo. He also promised to help you study and pass chemistry. Maybe you guys can be friends? If only he stopped teasing so much.

**-A Couple Days Later-**

* * *

***ding***

You look up from the paper you were just writing and picked up your phone that just went off. A text from none other than Kuroo. Had been wondering if he forgot about you or not. Not that you cared either way. It wasn't like you had checked your phone all weekend looking for a text from him or something. You weren't the type to jump to your phone as soon as a guy texted you. You could care less...

You sat there trying to focus back on your paper and ignore the dinging that kept coming from you phone. But curiosity got the best of you and jumped up from your desk and grabbed your phone off your bed, and collapsed back into your chair. Opening it, you noticed several texts from the same frustrating guy.

🖕 **BedHead 🖕**

_9:35pm:_ **Oi** , **You up?**

 _9:35pm:_ **It's like 9:30**

 _9:36pm:_ **Wake up**

 _9:37pm:_ **(y/n)!!! Wakey Wakey**

 _9:37pm:_ **You're not asleep. Give me attention.**

 _9:39pm:_ **Fine I won't help you study....**

 _9:42pm:_ **I'm just kidding! Please don't ignore me.**

 _9:42pm:_ **_Chibiiiiii- channnnn_ **

**(y/n)**

_9:43pm:_ **Oh my god Kuroo, What do you want?**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_9:43pm:_ **CHIBI!**

 _9:43pm:_ **I need to ask you something... it's really important...**

** (y/n) **

_9:45pm:_ **Um.. Ok. What's up?**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_9:51pm:_ **Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_9:52pm:_ **Cause you're CuTe!**

 _9:52pm:_ **Get it?? Cause Copper is Cu and Tellurium is Te on the periodic table. It's a chemistry joke. Ya know, since we have chemistry together ;)))**

**Sorry, I just PERIODICALLY make horrible science puns ;))))**

** (y/n) **

_9:55pm:_ **I'm blocking you. That was terrible.**

**I can't believe I had to read that with my own two eyes.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_9:55pm:_ **NOOOO**

**Who's gonna tutor you then?? huh?**

**Who's going to tease you like I do???**

**(y/n)**

_9:56pm:_ **Hopefully no one, and then I'll get some peace and quiet... and I'm sure Oikawa will still help me study for chem. So suck on that.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:00pm:_ **Admit Chibi-Chan, you like when I tease you... I bet it turns you on. and Oikawa can't do that.**

**Also.**

**"suck on that"? That's my line.**

** (y/n) **

_10:06pm:_ **You're gross and insufferable. And I do not.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:07pm:_ **Oh? So you're a liar now, on top of being a tease? Shame Shame Chibi Chan.**

** (y/n) **

_10.07pm:_ **Can you shut up with that nickname. And I'm not a liar, I never lie.**

**And I'm not a tease.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:08pm:_ **Whatever you want to say Chibi-Chan. Those pink cheeks you always have and those short skirts you wear**

**say otherwise....**

**Anyways.**

**Are you free on Thursday?**

** (y/n)**

_10:08pm:_ **You always say the dumbest things.**

**Why, making plans to kidnap and torture me?**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:10pm:_ **Hm, as fun as that sounds, no I was picturing more of a tutor session. But if you'd rather**

**be tied up and tortured, I think I can make time for that too...;))**

** (y/n) **

_10:12pm:_ **Yea I'm free on Thursday.**

**FOR A STUDY SESSION.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:13pm:_ **Anyoen ever tell you you're a** **party pooper. I'll meet you at the library at 1 then.**

**Night _Chibiiiii-channnn_**

****

**_(y/n)_ **

_10:14pm:_ **Sounds good, see you then Rooster Head.**

**🖕 BedHead 🖕**

_10:14pm: **ROOSTER HEAD???**_

__ **WHO ARE YOU CALLING ROOSTER HEAD???**

 _10:15pm:_ **You're dead.**

 _10:18pm:_ **Whatever. It doesn't bother me that much.**

**It's like a cute pet name.**

_10:20pm:_ **ROOSTER HEAD??? That's all you could think off??**

**It's dumb anyway. Whatever.**

* * *

**-Kuroo’s POV 3 rd Year at Nekoma-**

Kuroo was still crying into the gym floor after hearing Kenma say those words. He could still hear them roll off the blonde’s lips and fall to his ears, piercing him through his heart.

**“We’re done”**

Two words. That’s all it took to break Kuroo. All of his posturing and confidence, the way he smiled, the way he laughed, all of it; none of it mattered, he was now broken. He had an inkling that those words would haunt him, little did he know how right he was. They echoed in his mind long after Kenma had left the gym, and none of the other players had returned luckily.

Lost in the pain he felt, he didn’t notice the doors opening and someone walking in. Suddenly, he heard a new voice above him. It echoed through the gym.

“You know my mom always said, it’s not bad to cry. I’ve always believed it makes you stronger.”

Kuroo froze, stunned at the unknown voice, and embarrassed being seen like this. All too aware of the position he was in, on his hands and knees with his forehead boring into the ground.

_How pathetic I must look. I can hear the rumors spreading now: Handsome and Smart Volleyball Captain found sobbing like a baby on the gym floor._

Between the sniffling, he managed to croak out, “I appreciate the advice, but I would really like to be alone right now.”

“I understand, I won’t intrude anymore. But in case you need a stranger to spill your guts to, I’m in class 3… my name is (y/n)…”

He didn’t make a move to face you, he was too embarrassed and too distraught to do anything but lay there. Even thinking was exhausting at this point. He finally realized you might be waiting for a response and let out a long sigh.

“Kuroo. And Tha-“

As he was finally raising his head to look at you, he quickly realized you had already walked to the gym doors and were opening them to leave. He was certain you hadn’t even heard him speak from where you were. So, instead of chasing after you, he rolled onto his back and just stared at the dark ceiling.

He laid there for several minutes replaying what had happened in the past hour, all way down to when you left him alone in the gym. The only thing he remembered was the way your voice was kind to him and your (h/c) hair as you had rushed out the gym. He thought to remind himself to thank you later.

He never did.

He didn’t see you after that, but that became his normal- he stopped seeing all together. He didn’t go blind, he just stopped paying attention to anything, he lost all his passion, he had no drive anymore.

Kenma had slain the beast that was Kuroo’s heart just like he would in any of the games he played. Only this time, Kenma was playing the villain.

He was satisfied seeing the defeated look on Kuroo’s face. There was no reason why he had felt this excitement from being the one that hurt others rather than be hurt, all he knew was that he had won this round.

But slowly, Kuroo was piecing himself together. He acted civil with Kenma but kept a lot of distance between them, which became easy since Kenma was a year younger than him. He was never mad at Kenma though, he still blamed himself. After all, he was the one that slipped up.

He started focusing on Volleyball more, throwing himself into practicing until someone kicked him out of the gym. His grades had suffered a massive hit, so when he wasn’t practicing he was in the library drowning in books.

Someone looking in from the outside would just see Kuroo as a model student he was working harder than anyone around him. But for those who knew him well, he was bottling his emotions and focused on school and volleyball as a way to distract himself.

But they never said anything to them, whether it was out of respect for his privacy or not. Eventually, they saw Kuroo start to open back up and become his charismatic self again.

There was one person who wasn’t enjoying these developments. Kenma felt like this was a threat to him, that Kuroo was saying “See I’m perfectly fine without you.”. He didn’t like to lose any game, and he certainly didn’t intend to lose this one. However, it seemed that he was the only one aware that there was a game to play…

**-Two Months after the fight-**

The team had a few questions when Kuroo had finally started to be ‘normal’ again, but they kept their mouths shut in fear that any questions would send him back into a dark phase. They let him have his space, and he started to forget about his pain. But he never could forget about his love for Kenma, that refused to leave his heart.

The team was preparing for the start of Nationals, all of them very pumped for the tournament to start since they all fought so hard to get there. They were all buzzing with adrenaline, mostly at the chance to play Karasuno. Their rival who they had become very close friends with.

Kuroo would text Daichi and Tsukki (who wasn’t very good at responding back) just to hear about their progress and obviously tease them to get a rise out of them. His entire goal was to make this Trash Can Showdown happen before he graduated. And with how things were progressing it seems like the scheming captain would get t live his dreams, granted that Karasuno didn’t lose too early.

At this point, it was habit for Kuroo to be at the gym practicing alone every day. Over working himself until he was too tired to even move. The other boys stopped trying to lecture and tried more to help him until he was satisfied. But he never was, something was always off.

Kuroo sent another serve over the net, landing right on the back line: A perfect serve.

But still not good enough for him. It could still have more power, More of an angle. It could be faster.

He picked up another ball to serve again.

“You know, if you keep doing that, you’ll throw out your shoulder.”

Kuroo registered the voice immediately. It was the one he grew up with. The one that whispered in his ear often. The one that yelled at him until he was in tears.

“…kenma…”

Kuroo’s voice was so soft and sad sounding, he almost didn’t recognize it as his own. He imagined it was someone else that had said it, until he realized that his lips had moved on their own.

“I miss you. Kuroo.”

Kuroo’s hold on the volleyball turned into a death grip, and he stood frozen. He was feeling everything and nothing all in one second. Not sure what to do or how to even respond.

Kenma stood in the doorway of the gym, not walking any closer and just waited for Kuroo’s reaction. However, he knew exactly what he needed to say to get what he wanted. And what he wanted right now, was Kuroo wrapped back around his finger.

“Kenma… you know I can’t do this…”

“Look, I realize that I messed up. I knew it as soon as I left the gym that day. But I was just so scared, and my pride wouldn’t let me turn back…” Kenma was throwing more emotion in to these sentences than Kuroo had ever heard from him in all the years they’d know each other.

“Testu. You’re my best friend. I can’t stand to lose you.”

He watched a shiver go up Kuroo’s spine as he said his given name, making sure to say it with the sweetest tone he could make.

“Kenma. I can’t.”

“Why? Is it because I dumped you that day? I said I regretted it. Do you not care about me anymore?”

“No Kenma, **I** was the one that messed up that day. I just don’t want to mess up like that again. I ruined a relationship the first time, of course I still care about you.”

Kenma crossed the gym to stand closer to Kuroo, once he was about a foot away, he stopped and stared the taller male dead in the eyes, “Tetsurou. I still love you.”

Kuroo was frozen on spot. He couldn’t look away. Those golden eyes bared down into his soul, seeing every flaw, every thought, everything that made Kuroo himself. He was stuck in shock. Kenma had said he stilled loved him and he didn’t know what to do.

The feelings he had so carefully locked away, threatened to explode in his chest. If he wasn’t careful, he would just end up messing things up with Kenma again. He wanted to be with Kenma, he knew that. But he didn’t want to lose him again.

It was almost a Pandora’s Box situation. He could have the boy he’s always wanted, but at the risk of ruining everything again and losing him for good.

Kenma had closed the distance between them, and each step slowly broke Kuroo’s resolve.

He didn’t know why but Kuroo would do anything Kenma would ask him. He knew that Kenma would always be his weak spot. No scientific reasoning could explain it, but Kuroo was Kenma’s forever.

It was beautiful and yet so scary to Kuroo. He was ready to submit everything to Kenma. Erasing everything bad and only thinking of the good that Kenma brings to his life. Kenma was a walking angel, a miracle, to Kuroo. Blinded by the light of his devotion, he couldn’t see anything beyond Kenma.

Kenma took the ball from Kuroo’s grip and threw it to the side and reached for Kuroo’s hands. He pulled Kuroo into a hug, and let the bigger male bury his face into the top of Kenma’s head.

Kuroo was shocked at this display of affection. Kenma had never really let Kuroo hold him like this before, and he never wanted it to end. Even when they were dating, Kuroo was hesitant to sit too close to Kenma sometimes because Kenma hated PDA so much.

_Maybe this time will be different. Maybe he wants to be a real relationship now, and I can be better for him too. I’ll do better this time. No slip ups. I don’t ever want to upset Kenma again._

“Kuroo, I love you.”

“I love you too Kenma.”

"You promise you'll always love me?"

"Of course."

"Good, I promise too. I'll never hurt you."

* * *

**-Present Day-**

**Y/N’s POV**

Looking at the time, you decided to give up on your homework and head to bed. You smiled at the last text and threw your phone down and headed down the hallway to the bathroom. Walking down the hall, you entered the bathroom and started brushing your teeth.

_Hmm I wonder what Yoko is doing?_

You knocked on your cousin’s door just to hear her call out to just come in. As you walk in you see her laying her bed doing homework, like you should be.

"Hey, I'm headed to bed. Goodnight."

"Before you go, I've been meaning to ask you something."

_Oh boy here we go. I bet it's about Iwaizumi_

"We didn't kiss or anything, he just kissed my forehead. He even saved me from some creep at the bar. So don-"

"NO WAY YOU KISSED KUROO!"

"Wait- what?"

"Well you went home with him, right? and you never came back here that night... I had my suspicions when Kuroo texted me."

"OH MY GOD NO THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL I DIDN WE DIDNT NO NO KISS WE NO KISS JUST SLEEP. WE JUST SHARED A BED, NOTHING HAPPENED. HE DRUNK ME DRUNK." At this point, your words were running together and you couldn't out a cohesive thought together.

"Calm down, I don't care who you sleep with. Just make sure you use a condom."

"OH MY GOD KIYOKYO NOOOO STOP IT" You could feel how red your face had gotten. Not a single inch on your face was spared from the embarrassment you were feeling. You shoved your head into a pillow, before sitting back up and throwing at her, "I didn't do anything with Kuroo!! I thought you were asking about Iwaizumi! I swear!!! I just slept at Kuroo's-"

"You mean with Kuroo, you shared a bed??"

"Kiyoko focus! Is that all you got from what I said?" You were basically whining at this point hoping she'd drop the topic and forget about it. Unfortunately, Kiyoko's favorite hobby was tormenting you.

"So, you're stringing along two guys?"

"You are infuriating. No! Kuroo was sad and I didn't feel right leaving him alone in that state, so I just stayed the night. -Wait- did you say he texted you?" 

"Don't look at me like that, we were all friends in high school, remember, volleyball."

"Whatever. But seriously, I'm not going to let some gay man experiment with me if that's what you were thinking. He was just sad, and it was kind of shocking to see him like that. So, I stayed. And know he agreed to tutor me. So, I think we might actually be able to become friends at this rate. I think he just needed someone's presence there. Ya know? To be fair, I did pass out before he even got out of the shower."

"God, you really are so clueless," You didn't hear the first part she whispered, but she continued, "Did he say anything about what was wrong? I can't say I've ever seen the scheming bastard like that in public. It must've been something bad."

"No, he really didn't say anything, he did ask me if he was difficult to be around. Or something like that."

"Ohh..."

"Oh? Kiyoko if you know something, you should tellll meeee, you know I hate being out of the looooppp"

"Some things happened in his third year and for a while after that, and I won't go into the detail because it's stuff you should hear from him. But let's just say, Kuroo might be a chemistry genius but when it comes to his heart, he's as dumb as you."

"Oikawa said something about his high school boyfriend really messing him up. Do you think that's what's going on?"

"Maybe, but like I said. It's stuff you should from him..."

After that, silence enveloped the both of you. There was nothing more to say or ask. The lighthearted joking had taken a turn for a heavier conversation neither of you wanted to continue, and yet as you stood up and walked away, you couldn't help but feel a little haunted by what she was saying.

_His heart, huh? Must be really bad to get to that beanpole..._

You snuggled into bed and checked your phone one last time. You had a couple social media notifications, and a missed call from an unknown number.

_Huh, probably a scam call._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I promise"... I smell foreshadowing...
> 
> So I wrote this like 20 different ways and originally it was going to be MUCH longer, but I decided to split it and then I'll have a newer chapter ready faster. 
> 
> This was going to include some KuroKen Smut but I figured I took too long to begin with, and smut takes me forever to write cause im so picky about it...But anyway... maybe soon
> 
> Who do you think was trying to call reader?
> 
> LMK if yall have any suggestions or critiques!


	6. He's my friend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi Fluff  
> Curious what Kuroo and Iwaizumi are like together, prepare for jealousy and angst.
> 
> xo- Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Time on Oxytocin...
> 
> Kuroo set a date for the study session and kiyoko railed you about you rnight at Kuroo's.

**-Day of the Study ~~date~~ session-**

You’re sitting in the library, having arrived early since you had other classwork you wanted to finish before you had to suffer through Kuroo lecturing you about Chemistry.

You were currently focused on writing for your Art History class, which luckily you found interesting enough to feel yourself enjoying writing an essay for once. Lost in the conspiracy theories of the art word which many were about occult art, you failed to notice the shadows that crept up behind you.

And on the one day you forget to wear headphones in the library, you get the joy of hearing, “~Hey there Little Cutie~” right against your ear. Which of course, made you automatically jump out of your seat because who wouldn’t when a random voice breathes into your ear like that??

“Shittykawa cut that out…”

You didn’t register who’s voice it was immediately. But as soon as you did, you were frozen in your seat. Flashbacks of your night out at the bar flashed through your mind as you’re reminded that the handsome guy, who is now moving to sit next to you, did in fact flirt with you and you honestly never expected to see him again.

“Uh is this seat taken?”

“N-no, uhm, nope, all you, yep…”

_What language was that (y/n)?? Speak like a normal human._

You couldn’t help yourself as you were stuck staring at the book in front of you as you ran through every interaction you had with Iwaizumi that night; from him punching that creep, making jokes about Oikawa with you, and letting you borrow his jacket… the same fucking jacket you were currently wearing…

_Oh my god. I literally couldn’t have any worse luck._

You were still stuck staring at your book and was too anxious to start any conversation because you weren’t sure if he would want his jacket back or if he just wanted to forget about the whole.

You sat there cursing your luck, and the bitch that authored your story. I mean really how much of an asshole do you have to be to stick someone in such an awkward situation.

_Ok maybe he won’t really notice. Yeah right (y/n), like the dude really wouldn’t notice someone wearing his jacket._

_Ok? So do I offer to give it back or?..._

Your thoughts were cut short by the asshole of the hour, talking loud as usual, “And she offered me homemade cookies, but I was like ‘are you crazy? I have a strict diet to stick to.’ Then she had the audacity to get mad at me but its no-“

“Crappykawa. Shut up. Were in the library.”

It’s as if he read your mind, you turn to look meekly at the male beside you and gave him a shy smile before quickly looking away. Yo failed to catch the red that crept up his own cheeks, and if you could read minds you would’ve heard him think how cute you are.

Fortunately, Oikawa doesn’t need to read minds to know what’s going on inside both of your heads.

_(y/n): freaking out for no reason, surprised to see Iwa again, and of course pure adoration for him as your best friend._

_Iwa-chan: freaking out for no reason, happy to see (y/n) again, and again pure adoration for his gorgeous best friend._

Oikawa was lost in his train of thought about how great of friend he was and didn’t see the book headed straight for his head until it was too late.

“OWW IWAI!!!”

“Stop looking so smug, you’re making us feel weird. I’m sure no one wants to see to that.”

“Whatever…” You didn’t even have to look up from your work to know that Oikawa was pouting.

So of course, you had to get in on the action because any excuse to torment him was good enough.

“So, Oikawa, did you even come here to do homework or are you just going to sit around and take selfies the entire time?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying (y/n). I am a model student and have wonderful grades. And of course, I’m going to take selfies, who else is going to provide the internet what it needs.”

As if to punctuate his thought process, he turned to a girl sitting a few tables away from yours and waved at her. You could’ve sworn she short circuited on spot, and Oikawa just turned back to you and shot you his signature smirk.

Instead of feeding into his ego, you turned to Iwaizumi started asking him how his day was just to egg Oikawa on.

“AWwwWWWWwwwwWWwwhhhHHhh, (Y/N)! You can’t just ignore me.”

And yet, you continue to do just that. Making small talk with Iwaizumi, who obviously was wanting to egg his egotistical friend on and working on your paper.

After a couple minutes, the three of you fell into a comfortable silence and you continued to work on what you needed to finish. You leaned against the back of your chair and popped you back, letting your body get a much-needed stretch in.

You could feel yourself getting peckish, so you decided to run down to the first floor of the library and walk down the hall to the Student Center where you could grab a small snack from the convenience store in it.

You grabbed a small bag of trail mix and a water before walking up the counter and waiting in line. You pulled out you phone from your ~~Iwaizumi’s~~ jacket pocket, and it almost immediately glowed with a text message notification.

You didn’t know the number, so you were hesitant to even look at the message but ultimately decide to open it. You looked at the screen and smiled, so he had noticed.

** Unknown Number **

_You know you look pretty good in my jacket. Might just let you keep it._

You weren’t sure what you felt for Iwaizumi, or if you two would ever become anything but you knew that any girl that got involved with him would be pretty lucky. Even from the brief experiences you’ve had with him, you could tell what a good guy he was. Your gut was never wrong, and your gut was telling you to see where this might play out.

You decided that he had waited long enough for a reply and decided to play dumb.

** (y/n) **

_I’m sorry you must have the wrong number. I don’t usually wear stranger’s jackets._

Yes, kind of a dumb response, you weren’t very good at the whole texting thing. But little did you know it made a slight smile grace Iwaizumi’s face. This didn’t escape Oikawa’s analytical gaze back in the library.

** Iwaizumi **

_Well I guess I should feel special as the exception._

_I hope you don’t mind that Oikawa gave me your number._

_To be fair, he did give it to me before I asked but I’m also glad he did cause I was planning on getting it somehow._

** (y/n) **

_Of course, because how else could you be a true stalker if you didn’t have my phone number?_

“Um excuse me, excuse me… You can step up and check out now…”

“Oh! Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Um just this…”

_Idiot._

You rolled your eyes at your own cluelessness and felt yourself redden out of embarrassment.

After finished purchasing your items, you walked out the door and slowly made your way back to the library. Looking at the time on your phone, you quickly realized that you had 30 minutes until it was time to meet up with Kuroo for the Study Session.

** Iwaizumi **

_Wow, you really get me._

_Do you wanna get married or something?_

You had to give the dude credit, he did make you laugh even though it was a bad outrageous joke.

** (y/n) **

_Are you sure that Oikawa hasn’t called dibs yet? I’m not trying to fight him. I have a feeling he’d be the type to throw elbows._

** Iwaizumi **

_Well we did make a pact that we would get married if we were both still single at 40, but I think you’re safe from his elbows for now._

You suddenly realized that you were smiling over your phone, the text conversation had been cute and for once you didn’t feel like running away from a guy. You didn’t want to read to much into it, but maybe you were ok giving Iwaizumi a chance…

You had finally made it back to the second floor of the library and was walking back to the table when Oikawa passed you.

“Hey, I’m just going to grab some tea. I’ll be right back…” That wasn’t such a offputting comment, but what followed had you annoyed, “Plus I figured, you and Iwaizumi might want some alone time…”

Que his stupid ass smirk

“Listen here, Flatass-“

“Ouch.”

“- I’m going to ignore what you just said, and let you continue to live.”

“You know denial isn’t very cute on you.”

Not really wanting to hear whatever else he might have to say, you just kept walking by him back to where Iwaizumi now was sitting alone.

After getting settled, and snacking on a little bit of trail mix you started to feel a ittle awkward. Not sure if you should start a conversation or not. However, before you could even decide, Iwaizumi spoke first.

“You know it’s awfully rude to ignore someone when they call you?”

You turned to look at him, and was already looking at you with his hand resting on the palm of his hand. Wearing a small smile that you would’ve missed if you weren’t so keen on checking him out.

“When did you call me? I wasn’t gone that long.”

“No I called you the other night when Oikawa first gave me your number.”

Sure enough, looking at your call logs. It wasn’t a spam call, but Iwaizumi.

“What kind of person calls before texting another person? See that is stalker like behavior. Weirdo.”

You both laugh for a second, before stopping and staring at each other. Not in a weird or awkward way, just a comfortable silence with both of you holding eye contact until you decided to speak again.

“So Iwa, you never really told me what you’re going to school for.”

Back and forth, you two traded questions.

You quickly learned that Iwaizumi was studying Physical Therapy and was working with the volleyball team, which is another reason he was always with Oikawa. He had a small wiener dog named Princess; it was one of those ugly ones that looked like they’d roll down the stairs if you laid them on their sides but it was cute nonetheless.

He also talked about his family, which was really sweet cause you could tell how much they meant to him. He got really excited to talk about his years in high school. Going on about Volleyball and how annoying Oikawa was.

You couldn’t help but smile. He had such a rough exterior, but he really is such a softie. It made your heart warm to see him talk so animatedly about his interests and his past. You couldn’t think of anyone who would be able to resist the warmth coming from his smile as he talked while waving his hands around as he described a particularly intense game he remembers.

But of course, good things never last. And you failed to realize what time it was. Fortunately, ~~Unfortunately~~ , someone was more than happy to remind you.

“Ohhh Chibi-chan. It’s 12:10. Were you planning to skip out on our study date?”

Dear god, could this man come up with any other thing to call you?

_Also. Not a Date._

You were about verbalize you’re thoughts, you watched as Iwaizumi noticeably stiffened and became a completely different person in front of you.

“Uh, hi. Kuroo.”

“Oh hi. Iwaizumi.”

You looked back and forth between the two males. Feeling the awkward tension in the air. Oikawa wouldn’t make eye contact with you, but was suddenly fascinated with pieces of paint peeling away fro the edge of the table.

_Maybe they have beef from high school??_

Finally after it was silent for a heavy minute, Oikawa snapped back to reality and shyly spoke up.

“Well lucky for you I found Kuroo by the café and he had said he was meeting you to study so I told him you were with us.” Oikawa’s cheery voice didn’t match the annoyance spread across his face as he stared into the back of Kuroo’s head.

“Lucky me, huh, Chibi-chan?” Queue the wink.

You couldn’t catch a break from him. So this is what it’s like being friends with the ravenette? You supposed you could use to the teasing, but if he kept winking at you, you’d have to punch him in the face.

“Yea whatever, let’s get the shitshow on the road. Pull up a chair.” You patted the empty seat next to you, also noticing how Iwaizumi huffs and turns back to his own work.

“Um, no Chibi-chan, me and you have a private room to study in. No offense but I’m letting Mr. Muscles over here distract you.”

Never mind. Take back the last comment about Iwaizumi relaxing because now, he was standing on the other side of you.

Sandwiched between two (arguably intimidating) males, made you a little nervous. Especially, when they look ready to rip each other throat out.

_Wow, must’ve been some beef…_

“Kuroo, shut up. Iwaizumi hasn’t been distracting me. You’re being a bit of a jerk. He’s not bothering me at all, we can study out here since we’re already here.”

You were trying to deescalate the situation and it seemed to help Iwaizumi calm down a little. At least if he was calm, Kuroo might stop antagonizing.

“Well he’s bothering me.”

_*Sigh* Never mind._

“What was that beanpole? Want to repeat that?”

“Iwaizumi. Kuroo. Stop.”

You’re words were either drowned out by all the testosterone in their heads or they were ignoring. You knew better than to hope for them to calm down on their own… So you had to do what you had to do.

“Yea I’ll say it again. You. Are. Bothering. Me. And in fact, I bet (y/n) is just being nice to you because she doesn’t know how to tell you she’s not interested.”

*SMACK*

You landed a firm palm to the back of Kuroo’s head. It was hard to reach that far up, but you managed to reach the back o fhis head before he got the chance to say more bullshit.

“KUROO. What the fuck man. You need to chill out. I’ll go with you, just give me a second. Jesus.”

“Tch,” The taller male, rolled his eyes and scoffed, but without another word turned on his heels and left towards to private study rooms.

“Iwa. I’m so sorry for his behavior. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Please don’t take it personal. He’s just like that when you first meet him, honestly.”

You truly had no idea why Kuroo was acting like this. You knew he could be a jerk up front. But nothing this rude. It kind of scared you, maybe you didn’t have a good grip on how bad his attitude was.

But regardless of his jerk display, you still can’t help but to think about the morning you two shared breakfast. The kindness of it, and getting to see what you believe to be the “real” Kuroo…

“Yea well maybe someone should beat it out of him…”

You had to laugh at that. Sometimes you’d even offer to pay to see that, but you needed Kuroo’s brain for studying.

“And I’m sure you could Mr.Muscles.”

_Wow, that’s the reddest I think I’ve ever seen someone’s face get. He’s really cute like this…_

“Shu-Shut up. I don’t get why you’re defending him tho.”

You gave him a good flick on the forehead, which he just grunted in response to. Both of you smiled at this.

“I need his brains inside of his skull to teach me Chem, otherwise, he’s all yours. I’ll Text you later ok?”

“Ok, later (y/n).”

You walked away, smile still intact on your face as you wave bye to Oikawa (who you forgot was there honestly) and Iwaizumi.

“What was that?”

“What can I not say bye to my **friend**?”

You rolled your eyes at him, of course he was going to be a brat now. God studying was about to be 10x more miserable.

“You don’t say bye to friends like that, (y/n).”

You both stood at the study room door, as he used the borrowed key to unlock it. Leting you walk in first as he followed closely behind you. You decided that you were done with his childishness.

“Kuroo I fail to see how this is any of your business. Can we please just get to studying?...”

“Yea, you’re… you’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that. Just something doesn’t sit right with me in my gut about that Iwaizumi guy. I see him around the volleyball team all the time. But I just have a bad feeling about him.”

‘Ok but have you ever actually talked with him or hung out with him?”

Kuroo didn’t say anything and wouldn’t meet your eyes, so you knew that yo just made a good pint. He was just to proud to admit that he might be wrong about Iwaizumi.

“No? That’s what I thought. So, don’t be so rash. He’s a nice guy. Now enough about guys. Chemistry!”

…

The pair watched you walk away, knowing full well you weren’t going to turn back.

Feeling defeated, Iwaizumi had already sat down with every intention of distracting himself with homework. Instead, he found himself checking his phone every 5 seconds to see if you had texted yet.

“Well that was interesting.”

“Shut it Shittykawa.”

Oikawa didn’t need Iwaizumi to say anything, because he could read his friend like a book.

“Awww Iwa-chan. Don’t tell me you’ve already fallen in love with my dear (y/n).”

Oikawa knew what the answer was. Iwaizumi however, only felt sick to his stomach.

_The clueless idiot has no idea. Honestly where would he be without me._

“I said shut it Flattykawa.”

“Iwa. These names are so mean….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus. I might be a little long winded, huh?
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long, it seriously, these past couple weeks, have been hell for me. But I hope you like this a little. It's not my best work. A lot of filler tbh.
> 
> Also I fucking hate the title but my brain was only able to shit that out.  
> Excuse my french.


	7. The First of Many Study Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a mini chapter cause I felt bad for making you guys wait so long.
> 
> Studying with Kuroo and (my favorite) FORESHADOWING....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, please don't hate me for this.

“Ok so basically three types of hormones are Peptide Hormones, Lipid-derived Hormones, and Monoamine Hormones….” You mumbled out, not very confident in your answer since you had only looked at the material maybe twice in the past week.

“Right! can you explain the difference between them?” Kuroo was obviously trying to make this fun, and doing his best to encourage you, but you were still so miserable.

“Ummm I can certainly try…”

“No pressure, just start with the peptides.”

“Well I know that all peptide hormones are hydrophilic…” You faked a smile, hoping that was enough o please your hard ass tutor.

It wasn’t.

“Ok (y/n), what does that mean then?” He had a small smirk gracing his face. Knowing that you couldn’t do anything, you slam your head into the desk because of the over stimulation.

“UGHHMHMHGHHGGHUGHGMUMUHUHGHUM” this was the best way you could articulate your frustration and exhaustion.

“Ok ok, I see your point, we can take a break for a little bit if you want. But then we go back to talk about half-lifes of hormones.”

“SHHHhhhhhh, don’t say those words to me please.” Your head was still laying on the table, muffling your voice a little.

Kuroo’s face was graced with a small smile from your reaction, you’re kinda cute when you’re frustrated.

“Ok I have a better idea-“ you started.

You had suddenly raised your head, initially to argue about studying, but instead when you caught his eyes you both froze.

“What?” you managed to mumble out, still able to break the stare between you both, “Is there something wrong with me?”

“HUh? No! Not at all.” Kuroo had maybe said this a little to fast, and a little too loud. But you were none the more aware and continued to be the densest person on planet earth, oblivious to his awkward panic.

A comfortable silence grew between you two, as you scrolled through your phone. Still enjoying your break from the hellscape that Chemistry is.

“Thank you.” You said this more as a statement than a tentative appreciation. You were really lucky to have him helping you, and for free too.

“For what? I’m helping a friend out, if you fail chem you might have to drop out and then who will I torture?” You both laughed at his jest, but you knew he meant it. You could tell that he really considered you his friend.

And honestly, you were starting to feel the same way.

Every time you got to see this side of him. The side that smiles with his eyes, rather than using a smirk to hide behind. The side that made you breakfast. The side that is helping you with chem even though you’re doomed.

_Yea, this is a Kuroo I could used to._

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” he was waving his large hand in front of you, trying to wake you up from your spacing.

You quickly noticed how close he was leaning, and it made your face warm up immediately.

_Oh shit what the fuck is going on with me?_

You looked back at Kuroo and he was staring at you concerned, which was understandable since you were staring at him spaced out and looking like you had a bad sunburn going on.

“Are you feeling ok? You’re really red.” He raised a hand to check your temperature on your forehead.

“Do you think dogs ever get tired of barking?” you deadpanned while saying the first thing that came to mind.

“…”

“…”

“I’m sorry what?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m not even going to ask.”

“It’s probably for the best.”

You both chuckled for a minute before settling back into the silence. You were comfortable sitting like this with him, you didn’t feel like anything needed to be said.

However, a sudden thought was snagged from the back of your head and brought out in the open.

“Can we talk about what happened before? What made you so upset that you acted like that?” you were trying to be nice about it, but you really did want an explanation why he had such an outburst for no apparent reason.

“It was nothing.”, You could immediately tell from the stony expression Kuroo was suddenly wearing that this was going to be an uphill battle.

Normally you would’ve dropped it and left him to his own devices, but you were still upset about the whole incident, and rightfully so. And despite having such a nice time studying, the whole scene was still gnawing at your gut. You hadn’t even had the chance to text Iwaizumi yet, and you had a sneaking suspicion if you even tried a certain someone would make a big deal out of it.

“Kuroo. I’m trying to be nice and understanding, but you really embarrassed me and kinda hurt my feelings. That’s not the Kuroo I know.”

You knew that continuing to prod was probably counter productive, but Kuroo was slowly becoming more of a friend that just a tutor. Even though you two had limited interactions, there was this invisible pull that made you feel connected to him.

If you were being honest with yourself, you started caring. You weren’t sure when it started but between the texting banter and the vulnerability he showed you, you cared about Kuroo.

“ (y/n) , I’m telling you to please leave this alone. I am sorry that I acted like that, and that I treated in that way. I plan on apologizing to Iwaizumi next time I see him at practice too. But I promise you, it’s nothing you need to worry about. So please. For my sake. Drop it.”

Kuroo hadn’t even made eye contact with you once while you were listening to his little monologue. Surely something that terrible hadn’t happened. You ran a million scenarios through your head, unable to come up with one that made sense to you. But you decided that if he was being so truly sincere about this, then just this once you would drop it.

“Ok Kuroo, but you know I’m here for you. No matter what it is. And I hope you come to me next time instead of doing something like this again… ok?”

“Yea I know. I am sorry.”

You could tell from the way Kuroo was sitting at refusing to make eye contact that he meant it. He knew that the way he acted and exploded at you and Iwaizumi that he was out of line. And he really couldn’t face you with his confident and snarky mask. He couldn’t let you know what was happening because what would you think of him. He felt the same invisible draw and didn’t want to push you out of his life by including you into his stupid problems.

What he didn’t know was that you were already involved.

And what you didn’t know was his past was going to affect your future.

And sooner than either of you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long for an update. 
> 
> A lot has happened lately, not to mention school had me miserable.  
> Just went thru a period of having no motivation but I will be trying to have more regular update. I won't make promises tho.
> 
> Anywayyyyyy...
> 
> So I think I'm going to start the deeper plot point that none of you are ready for, some of you might not like it. But that's ok ;))))

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what ya think!
> 
> I don’t know if anyone is enjoying this story, but I’m having fun writing it. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this


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